wow! a lot of room to walk
I could do soooo much
I love this face
run baby run
we saw a helicopter
Grandpa and Tigger (two peas in a pod)
Monday, January 31, 2011
Just because it's been a few days
It's been a few days since I last posted anything....not what I like to do, but both Tigger and I have been sick. I guess there's this bug that's going around that is just nasty and leaves us feeling horrible. That and Tigger teething those last teeth made for a miserable weekend. So to make up for that, I thought I'd post some pictures from our carefree weekend last weekend where we (my parents and I) just found a grassy place for her to run around in. She still had that awful scab under her nose...thank goodness it's gone now!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
In the end, I'm really not accountable to you, cyberworld...
It is the age of technology. It's a great age....it's nice to have a charged cell phone when you're out late at night....you can always call someone if something happens. It's nice to sit around the computer screen and play games on facebook and talk to all your 'friends' from way back in elementary to now. It's good to belong to several communities online and chit chat. There's just one catch....
Even online, not everyone is going to like you....it's not a "safe haven" like one thinks it is and will be better than interacting in real life. Sometimes it's worse because you don't have the pragmatic/total body language package to go along with it. You see it all the time in different forums, in the comments after news articles online....people get offended and then the level of how to respond escalates.
You know the old saying....ok maybe it's just a family saying "not everyone is going to like you and that's ok" well it really is true. Even if you were the most saintly person in the whole world, some people are still not going to like you or like what you have to say. What are we/you going to do about it? Get offended? stomp off in a huff and demand that people think like you? hmmmm highly unlikely.
I'm a peacemaker. I like to sit down on the couch, sip coffee and have a lively discussion with you, then I like to leave still as friends. Sometimes this approach jives with people, sometimes it doesn't. That's not something I can help if I act respectfully and without name calling. So for 2011, my resolve is to act respectfully in real life and in cyberville, however, if someone feels the need to be rude back, there's nothing I can do. After all, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not going to be accountable to them and they aren't accountable to me either. As long as I act as I should in God's eyes, then I've done all I can. And you know what, that's good enough for me at the moment.
So discuss, disagree, debate, have a lively engagement, I just hope that in the end it remains civil and if not, then may you remember "you're not accountable to them, and they are not accountable to you".
And that is my summation of thoughts that I've had for the past week after observing some conversations in cyberville. The end. I'm done with the subject.
Even online, not everyone is going to like you....it's not a "safe haven" like one thinks it is and will be better than interacting in real life. Sometimes it's worse because you don't have the pragmatic/total body language package to go along with it. You see it all the time in different forums, in the comments after news articles online....people get offended and then the level of how to respond escalates.
You know the old saying....ok maybe it's just a family saying "not everyone is going to like you and that's ok" well it really is true. Even if you were the most saintly person in the whole world, some people are still not going to like you or like what you have to say. What are we/you going to do about it? Get offended? stomp off in a huff and demand that people think like you? hmmmm highly unlikely.
I'm a peacemaker. I like to sit down on the couch, sip coffee and have a lively discussion with you, then I like to leave still as friends. Sometimes this approach jives with people, sometimes it doesn't. That's not something I can help if I act respectfully and without name calling. So for 2011, my resolve is to act respectfully in real life and in cyberville, however, if someone feels the need to be rude back, there's nothing I can do. After all, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not going to be accountable to them and they aren't accountable to me either. As long as I act as I should in God's eyes, then I've done all I can. And you know what, that's good enough for me at the moment.
So discuss, disagree, debate, have a lively engagement, I just hope that in the end it remains civil and if not, then may you remember "you're not accountable to them, and they are not accountable to you".
And that is my summation of thoughts that I've had for the past week after observing some conversations in cyberville. The end. I'm done with the subject.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Let your guard down and embrace satire and humor for once
Since starting this adoption journey, I've learned a lot....joined a couple of forums and have learned many things including new language. Because of this, I think there are select groups (1st moms, adoptees, adoptive parents) that can now get very sensitive and wonder why this was said and that was said, and yes (even I) get defensive if people say the wrong thing or are asking/saying stupid questions/statements.
I've linked over to mompetition numerous times on my blog. She is a blogger that blogs under the definition of 'satire' as defined by websters dictionary (it's found at the top of her blog) so every cartoon that she makes is 'over the top, satirical, poke fun of' the exchanges moms can have with each other.
Why this preface?....because I'm going to embedd her latest video making fun of people that stick their foot in their mouth when they enounter adoptive moms....(for the record this information was NOT given to her from me, she asked me what I found interesting and I said the homestudy process....which she asked questions about, so no this isn't from my conversation with her, she has tons of followers so she interacts with what everyone has had to endure from the mom angle)
Anyways since the forum I've attended has had some "offended" parties recently through some heated threads, I just wanted to warn you that this video while it can make you laugh may be a bit 'over-the-top' so be warned. However, take it for what it is and just let your guard down and enjoy. If you don't believe me that this blogger really goes 'over the top' with moms just go back and look at all her videos. Sometimes it's just nice to laugh at stupidity including knowing when the videos capture our own stupidity during the mom years.
I've linked over to mompetition numerous times on my blog. She is a blogger that blogs under the definition of 'satire' as defined by websters dictionary (it's found at the top of her blog) so every cartoon that she makes is 'over the top, satirical, poke fun of' the exchanges moms can have with each other.
Why this preface?....because I'm going to embedd her latest video making fun of people that stick their foot in their mouth when they enounter adoptive moms....(for the record this information was NOT given to her from me, she asked me what I found interesting and I said the homestudy process....which she asked questions about, so no this isn't from my conversation with her, she has tons of followers so she interacts with what everyone has had to endure from the mom angle)
Anyways since the forum I've attended has had some "offended" parties recently through some heated threads, I just wanted to warn you that this video while it can make you laugh may be a bit 'over-the-top' so be warned. However, take it for what it is and just let your guard down and enjoy. If you don't believe me that this blogger really goes 'over the top' with moms just go back and look at all her videos. Sometimes it's just nice to laugh at stupidity including knowing when the videos capture our own stupidity during the mom years.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Somber post!
So between the middle of December and the first week of January both my parents and I got called for jury duty. I was first....before the holidays and didn't get called all week so was automatically dismissed. My father was the week right after Christmas and didn't get called in all week and also got automatically dismissed. My mom on the other hand has a knack for always getting called into the court for a big case. This year was no exception. She was called for an ugly case. She couldn't talk about it but she was almost picked for the jury, and was being considered when the attorneys went into the chambers and took forever in there until finally coming out and then the judge excused my mom. My mother said before they had that "chambers" meeting the defense attorney gave her the evil eye and my mom kinda smiled like "I so can't be impartial I don't even believe myself".
My mother said that she disclosed everything (you know they make you fill out forms and junk and ask you to spill your life story) and she thinks the part about Tigger and myself was the part that got her excused.
So right at around 3pm, I look to see what the news items are for our area and lo and behold, top news story is this trial that then my mom told us about. So I read it in the paper...they are on phase two now which is determining if the insanity defense was legit as they already did the first part and there was a conviction. As I was reading though, it sickened me. A mom kills her 17 month old kid....17 month old kid, that's Tigger's age....no wonder the defense attorney gave my mom the evil eye, I don't think my mom would have survived this jury. They went on to describe how this mother killed her child and it's not pretty. Forget the stories you've heard about moms drowning their kids, think blow to the head and stabbed by an arrow....I'm sorry, I'm not going to be clean right now, but WTF? I don't care if you think God speaks to you through music how do you do that to a kid? forget the kid part, a little tyke! Ugh. They warned the jury that there would be "disturbing pictures"....I can only imagine. I'm very glad my mom didn't get picked for this. The kid was the same age as Tigger and she is very emotional about stuff like that.
As I was thinking about this case and read that the crime happened in 2009, I'm wondering if that's the call my adoption worker answered and was traumatized by it. I was taking my adoption classes back then and one week my adoption worker who was also one of the teachers came in very serious and it was because she was signed up for overtime and got a call and the child was already dead....but this one she did disclose that she had to go to therapy for. She's seen 7 dead kids and she went to therapy for the first time and then was ok until this last one in 2009. I'm almost sure it was this case just because reading about it made a deep impression on me.
It's stories like these that make me think that it would be more than ok if God had a Heaven already for kids that died tragic deaths or have one to reunite with. I know our particular church believes in a person being"at rest" until the second coming, however, there should be a Heaven for children....adults and older people can "rest", kids deserve Heaven already. (Disclaimer: I don't need a theological comment if you know what church I belong to, this isn't about that)
Well that was the news of.the.day.
My mother said that she disclosed everything (you know they make you fill out forms and junk and ask you to spill your life story) and she thinks the part about Tigger and myself was the part that got her excused.
So right at around 3pm, I look to see what the news items are for our area and lo and behold, top news story is this trial that then my mom told us about. So I read it in the paper...they are on phase two now which is determining if the insanity defense was legit as they already did the first part and there was a conviction. As I was reading though, it sickened me. A mom kills her 17 month old kid....17 month old kid, that's Tigger's age....no wonder the defense attorney gave my mom the evil eye, I don't think my mom would have survived this jury. They went on to describe how this mother killed her child and it's not pretty. Forget the stories you've heard about moms drowning their kids, think blow to the head and stabbed by an arrow....I'm sorry, I'm not going to be clean right now, but WTF? I don't care if you think God speaks to you through music how do you do that to a kid? forget the kid part, a little tyke! Ugh. They warned the jury that there would be "disturbing pictures"....I can only imagine. I'm very glad my mom didn't get picked for this. The kid was the same age as Tigger and she is very emotional about stuff like that.
As I was thinking about this case and read that the crime happened in 2009, I'm wondering if that's the call my adoption worker answered and was traumatized by it. I was taking my adoption classes back then and one week my adoption worker who was also one of the teachers came in very serious and it was because she was signed up for overtime and got a call and the child was already dead....but this one she did disclose that she had to go to therapy for. She's seen 7 dead kids and she went to therapy for the first time and then was ok until this last one in 2009. I'm almost sure it was this case just because reading about it made a deep impression on me.
It's stories like these that make me think that it would be more than ok if God had a Heaven already for kids that died tragic deaths or have one to reunite with. I know our particular church believes in a person being"at rest" until the second coming, however, there should be a Heaven for children....adults and older people can "rest", kids deserve Heaven already. (Disclaimer: I don't need a theological comment if you know what church I belong to, this isn't about that)
Well that was the news of.the.day.
Kid's Heaven...no cares in the world and no psycho parents around to kill them!
Monday, January 24, 2011
11 things BC and well OMGWTH...a comparison!
(BC and just bought me a bachelorette pad)
I've been a bit cheesy lately. Just been adoption forumed/adoption information(ed) out a bit....there are seasons of weirdness and people getting bent out of shape for things that don't matter all that much so I'm just focusing on doing fun parenting posts and will get back to adoption after I'm done being annoyed.
As mompetition put it so eloquently there are two seasons of life. BC (before kids) and OMGWTH (after kids), slightly moderated to make the acronym cleaner.
So here are some things I thought BC.
1. My child will sleep the whole night in their crib
2. I will not pay attention to my child because they need to learn how to play by themselves
3. I will not obsess over my child's speech development
4. I don't see anything wrong with spanking
5. I will not get frustrated with my child after the 4th night of no sleep
6. I will not send my child to daycare on Tylenol
7. I will never take a sick day and just play hooky with my child
8. My child will be speaking in sentences by the time they are 18 months old
9. My child will not be loud, throw things, or throw loud tantrums
10. I will not be able to handle cooking meals from scratch every day, sometimes fast food will do, what's the harm right?
11. I will not feel badly when my child cries because they wanted a toy at the store and I couldn't buy it then.
The reality of OMGWTH (A.K.A 'after kids)
1. Tigger sleeps better some nights in my bed and frankly so do I.
2. Tigger is a toddler that must be in the same room as I and needs to be held sometimes....so much for playing nicely without bugging me for hours on end LOL
3. The reality is, I'm a speech therapist and always wonder whether or not Tigger is picking up language, whether she is destined to have a speech problem, and wonder why she still jargons instead of delivering speeches.
4. Time outs work well for Tigger and well, hmm...that's all I gotta say.
5. Yes after more than one night of less than stellar sleep, I get frustrated, I cry, and I put her in my bed so we can both sleep.
6. well one morning was iffy and I had a meeting so I rolled the dice and figured if I got called, that means she was really sick and if not, no need to postpone a meeting.
7. I love the couple of days she and I stayed home "sick"...I don't do it often though, I have plenty of sick days I really need to use.
8. yeah Tigger turns 18 months this week and we are at words and jargon, not sentences...oh well.
9. Tigger is loud and stubborn. I have visions of tantrums in the store in the future.
10. Not only is my child allergic to milk so I also go out of my way to a store that sells good soy cheese, I loathe fast food joints for kids and yes I'm a slave to the kitchen in order to make healthy meals....call me Martha.
11. When I see tears falling down Tigger's face, especially after having a happy face I'm devastated. If we have to go quickly into a store for supplies (e.g. bath, diapers) and she happens to see a toy but then we leave, she gets very teary eyed....it gets me every time, mostly because I don't buy her a toy when we go into the store very often....
(OMGWTH this is how you take a picture when it's just you and the kid and you haven't done your hair)
Life can be all puppy dogs and happiness....
Image via WikipediaYou know the saying, life isn't all roses, sunshine, and puppies. I agree.....but in a literal sense these days life is all about puppies and dogs.
No! I did NOT get a puppy or a new dog, however Tigger is obsessed with "doggies" right now. Everything is a dog. The doggies are doggies and made to woof, I am a dog, the cat is a doggie, grandma and grandpa are doggies, and so on and so on.
Now on the way to daycare I get "Mama, doggie!" "mami, mami, DOGGIE!" Ok baby I know you love doggies and are making every animal be officially named doggie. We had to stop at the park this weekend because Tigger went insane when she saw a person with a doggie and I had to grab her before she ran up to the poor unsuspecting dog to give it some Tigger loving. Oiy.....
Of course at grandma and grandpa's house there are magazines of chihuahuas and schnauzers and books on boxers, boston terriers, and chihuahuas, so all day long she will have a dog book or magazine in her hand and there is "talk" (jargon) all.day.long. about doggies.
Well what can I say, I guess it's not a bad obsession at the moment! I'll take that over a tween into Justin Beiber at the moment, of course maybe this doggie obsession *is* getting me ready for the tween obsession phase.
Friday, January 21, 2011
I'm thinking I need to milk this!
So I was sweeping up around the table and under the high chair as well you know, there can never be a "clean" meal without something getting on the floor and when I turn my back this is what I see:
My first shot is blurry because I thought she would lose interest and so I took a hurried picture (needless to say my "hurry" wasn't warranted, she loved sweeping)
Sweeping up puzzle pieces
You can see she found my house slipper and was "picking up"
We started getting a little haywire here
Anyways, so after I let her pretend to sweep it was time for the broom to go bye bye. That did not go over well. I"m thinking I need to buy her those petite brooms and let her at it. I'm telling you, between her love of laundry and now taking an interest in sweeping, I think I'm finding chores for her to do. (Don't worry, I'm totally not like Cinderella's stepmother) After all, gotta milk the desire to clean house while they're young!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Beach
This past weekend it was really nice outside so my parents and I took Tigger to the beach on Saturday after church. Now we've been to picnic at the beach before but overlooking the beach and on a cold day so Tigger had never been to the sand and to the water's edge so it was a fun first.
She rudely got to see nature surviving....when in the tide pool area, my mom excitedly picked up a hermit crab but then Tigger wanted to see it and it dropped back into the water. Unfortunately it dropped right smack dab in the middle of one of those Sea Anemones and it started to eat the crab....my mom feeling horrible thought she could save the hermit crab and tried to get it out not realizing that it only made it worse and then bam...gone. I think my mother was traumatized and lamented that it wasn't the stupid crab's fault as she was the one that picked it up, it was quite tragic.
Best part of the day was eating lunch overlooking the beach and having Tigger go to the edge of the water and run away from the waves.
She rudely got to see nature surviving....when in the tide pool area, my mom excitedly picked up a hermit crab but then Tigger wanted to see it and it dropped back into the water. Unfortunately it dropped right smack dab in the middle of one of those Sea Anemones and it started to eat the crab....my mom feeling horrible thought she could save the hermit crab and tried to get it out not realizing that it only made it worse and then bam...gone. I think my mother was traumatized and lamented that it wasn't the stupid crab's fault as she was the one that picked it up, it was quite tragic.
Best part of the day was eating lunch overlooking the beach and having Tigger go to the edge of the water and run away from the waves.
Eating a picnic lunch overlooking the beach
Looking at the different crabs and animals
Hermit crab must have been dropped and they're watching it get eaten/swallowed up
Grandpa makes for a nice beach companion
Ooooh cold
Waiting for a wave
Help, the Pacific Ocean is cold
Drying off very cold feet
Play Date!
Tigger and I had a play date on Monday. It was with a few moms from church. Dare I say that both she and I are actually making friends???? Whoa hold back now, you know we've kinda retreated into a very boring routine and stayed close to home this past year. It's nice to finally branch out a little. Tigger isn't a "cool deal" kind of kid with new things, so she clung to me and of course had her staple method of comfort (sucking on her index finger) and kind of wondering why she was seeing church friends on a day that wasn't a church day....but by the end she really had a good time and "talked" all.the.way.home.LOUDLY.
Not quite sure about this park date
Tigger and M get along and start climbing over this little concrete slab/step
Mom isn't too sure about Tigger's new found love of the park apparatus, way higher than the toddler one
Tigger and K picking up dirt and bark
Tigger and K walking and running around
Swings are a hit
Cradle Roll babies and their mamas
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Behold we return!
Yeah so I had this grand plan to always update my blog on the weekdays at least once a day. Um yeah, well we hit a tantrum stage that just drains me out of creativity and thought at night and we also have been busy.
Tigger also seems to want to "talk" but is jargoning way more than using words and is frustrated to no end, so of course the Speech Therapist in me is now dedicating the evenings to do vocabulary building moments even though I"m not sure how much of it is doing any good....she's on her own time clock and is definitely NOT the child that when i say "say this" will imitate on cue.
Example 1: We were at the park on Monday with some other mothers and kids....yay a play date, and I was just saying out loud if she wanted to do the slide again.....all of a sudden I hear the word "again" come out of her mouth....and before you all think I'm making it up, another mom heard it so I have a witness.
Example 2: Tonight we were going over animals in those naming type books and she opens it and it falls on the page with a lion and she says "lion" all excitedly....um really? I haven't heard that one before, in fact I don't go over the word "lion" with you!
Example 3: Tigger can point to eyes, nose, mouth, ears, head, hair, hands, feet, tongue and teeth when I ask her and I ask her EVERY day on the car ride home (thank you Ordinal Scales)...but of course now nightly in the tub I want to see if she will imitate any of these words, so as I"m trying to elicit something out of her, she looks at me, smiles and laughs, shakes her head "no" and then proceeds to point to her private parts and boldly proclaims "pee-pee".really? that's the first word you will spontaneously say in regards to body parts?
Tigger is getting big. She's tall and doing well although she could gain a few pounds to make the pediatrician happy!
Tigger also seems to want to "talk" but is jargoning way more than using words and is frustrated to no end, so of course the Speech Therapist in me is now dedicating the evenings to do vocabulary building moments even though I"m not sure how much of it is doing any good....she's on her own time clock and is definitely NOT the child that when i say "say this" will imitate on cue.
Example 1: We were at the park on Monday with some other mothers and kids....yay a play date, and I was just saying out loud if she wanted to do the slide again.....all of a sudden I hear the word "again" come out of her mouth....and before you all think I'm making it up, another mom heard it so I have a witness.
Example 2: Tonight we were going over animals in those naming type books and she opens it and it falls on the page with a lion and she says "lion" all excitedly....um really? I haven't heard that one before, in fact I don't go over the word "lion" with you!
Example 3: Tigger can point to eyes, nose, mouth, ears, head, hair, hands, feet, tongue and teeth when I ask her and I ask her EVERY day on the car ride home (thank you Ordinal Scales)...but of course now nightly in the tub I want to see if she will imitate any of these words, so as I"m trying to elicit something out of her, she looks at me, smiles and laughs, shakes her head "no" and then proceeds to point to her private parts and boldly proclaims "pee-pee".
Tigger is getting big. She's tall and doing well although she could gain a few pounds to make the pediatrician happy!
Coming back from daycare with a scrape under her nose
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Contemplation Evening!
Ever have one of those nights where you look back on your life so far and just thought of all the changes and all the people you haven't seen in a long time? Yeah for some reason that was me tonight....I guess I was just in that kind of a mood.
Interesting blog post, great reading material for all!
Usually when people don't know anything or minimal about adoption, the immediate reaction is of wonderfulness, rose-colored, happily ever after, type of comments.
Sometimes naive people who first start thinking about adoption only think about the "good" things. It was sad and refreshing to get wake-up calls after deciding to do this myself, however, I don't think we get enough reading done on attachment, on what is 'normal' and 'good' and what should be a 'red flag'.
I usually read blog posts on adoption.com just to read the different author's point of view, and this one really tugged at my heart.
The sadness of sleeping
Ordinary things one doesn't think about often. I hope that while it's a melancholy post, it can help, educate, and make people aware of things that can happen. I wouldn't read this as a downer, but more as an awareness.
Sometimes naive people who first start thinking about adoption only think about the "good" things. It was sad and refreshing to get wake-up calls after deciding to do this myself, however, I don't think we get enough reading done on attachment, on what is 'normal' and 'good' and what should be a 'red flag'.
I usually read blog posts on adoption.com just to read the different author's point of view, and this one really tugged at my heart.
The sadness of sleeping
Ordinary things one doesn't think about often. I hope that while it's a melancholy post, it can help, educate, and make people aware of things that can happen. I wouldn't read this as a downer, but more as an awareness.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Post Adoption Meetings
So I went to my first official post-adoption meeting last evening. It was actually quite helpful, which is why I didn't have time to write last night. In fact this post is short because I got to get to work and I'm going to play around with the "post options" and see if it will indeed schedule a post to be put on the blog at the time I order it to. (yes I know I have weird humor like that)
Anyways I learned new stuff about resources should I ever need them, about how/when/where/why I would use Tigger's medical card and when is it good as a secondary insurance (I did find out last night that the money I spent for her asthma medication I could have presented her medical card and it might have paid for the medicine...uh well next time) and when it would be beneficial to have it as the only form of insurance for a child.
We learned about support groups in the area, about mental health, about the school district and their services (I was glad to have information to share in that aspect ) and we learned about the adoption tax credit and what form needs to be used.
Nothing I haven't *heard* before online or in my classes way back when, but it was nice to have a meeting just to go over it again and to get numbers for assistance should I need it later on. Oh the things you learn! I feel like I'm understanding not only the public school system, but the foster care and mental health care system better. I think that rocks! Hopefully it means I can assist with information if a parent or someone has any questions or wonders why the system is set up in a particular way.
Toodaloo, my morning commute awaits....hopefully my scheduling of this post works!
Anyways I learned new stuff about resources should I ever need them, about how/when/where/why I would use Tigger's medical card and when is it good as a secondary insurance (I did find out last night that the money I spent for her asthma medication I could have presented her medical card and it might have paid for the medicine...uh well next time) and when it would be beneficial to have it as the only form of insurance for a child.
We learned about support groups in the area, about mental health, about the school district and their services (I was glad to have information to share in that aspect ) and we learned about the adoption tax credit and what form needs to be used.
Nothing I haven't *heard* before online or in my classes way back when, but it was nice to have a meeting just to go over it again and to get numbers for assistance should I need it later on. Oh the things you learn! I feel like I'm understanding not only the public school system, but the foster care and mental health care system better. I think that rocks! Hopefully it means I can assist with information if a parent or someone has any questions or wonders why the system is set up in a particular way.
Toodaloo, my morning commute awaits....hopefully my scheduling of this post works!
Monday, January 10, 2011
A little taste of what I"m sure most of us are guilty of doing!
The hardest part of being a foster parent sometimes is accepting the help and going along with all the services provided. Not that they aren't great, but sometimes one feels like they are crossing the line into entitlement and it's a dance of what your mind "deems" as being right.
Case in point, when Tigger came, she received WIC, so naturally it continued. It's a great program and I'm very glad that my tax dollars go to fund such an awesome program, it's just that sometimes I felt out of place. I got over it because in the end it wasn't about "me" it was about making sure Tigger received what she needed in light of the fact that she may not have received good nutrition beforehand. OK I get it. So it's not about me, it's about making Tigger healthy and being accountable to making Tigger eat healthy.
Fast forward and now we are a forever family. Because of her past foster care history, in our state Tigger still receives insurance from the state as secondary and because of that, she still receives WIC. Again I feel weird because while we are not rich, I can buy food, we're not destitute. Again, I'm counseled and told that Tigger unlike my typical pregnant friend may not have received prenatal care and good nutrition and accountability for that is good for HER and it has nothing to do with me. I was then told that if it made me feel better, I payed taxes and I"m just seeing the benefits of where my tax dollars go to. Ok.
Now, being a WIC person and going to the store and buying food items with the WIC checks, you get to see people's true colors. You know, the self-righteous people that roll their eyes and tap and sigh heavily because one is obviously "trash" if they are using the checks. Well I guess it's payback because let's face it, in our harried lives and maybe in our youth, weren't we those rude people hemming and hawing behind a family using food stamps and/or WIC checks? Last week, I decided to use another store outside my normal one that I use for these purposes and boy did I pay for it, even though I thought I was saving time by doing it before picking up Tigger and getting it done without her.
If looks could kill, I'd be dead. The cashier lady was nice...however, in my usual store I guess I've been making a wrong purchase that they haven't told me about yet this cashier said I had to trade this food for something else...I think the cereal boxes have to be in 12 oz boxes or more instead of 9 oz (yes silly rules) and so of course the people behind me started giving me that evil stare. You know the "if you weren't a slut stare", and the "dang lady wasting our taxes" stare. I was royally embarrassed and wanted to cry. After I got out of there alive much to the happiness of the person behind me, I contemplated on how maybe sometimes I've acted the same way in my teens or early 20s....judging people on food stamps and WIC , not really knowing their situation and/or knowing them as people.
Well now I know what it feels like. While some days I may be in a hurry, I am much kinder and patient in line than I used to be. I have empathy for people if they grabbed the "wrong" item....I KNOW what it feels like to turn red in the face and be embarrassed and I NOW give people the 'evil' eye if they start making a fuss in line behind a person using assistance. I KNOW what it feels like and it doesn't feel good.
If anything, I hope that if you stumble on my blog, my sincerest hope is that this post opens your eyes that it isn't cool to be rude in line. And if you're my friend and start feeling exasperated behind someone using WIC, try to imagine that it is me in line in front of you...is this really how you would treat me?
Case in point, when Tigger came, she received WIC, so naturally it continued. It's a great program and I'm very glad that my tax dollars go to fund such an awesome program, it's just that sometimes I felt out of place. I got over it because in the end it wasn't about "me" it was about making sure Tigger received what she needed in light of the fact that she may not have received good nutrition beforehand. OK I get it. So it's not about me, it's about making Tigger healthy and being accountable to making Tigger eat healthy.
Fast forward and now we are a forever family. Because of her past foster care history, in our state Tigger still receives insurance from the state as secondary and because of that, she still receives WIC. Again I feel weird because while we are not rich, I can buy food, we're not destitute. Again, I'm counseled and told that Tigger unlike my typical pregnant friend may not have received prenatal care and good nutrition and accountability for that is good for HER and it has nothing to do with me. I was then told that if it made me feel better, I payed taxes and I"m just seeing the benefits of where my tax dollars go to. Ok.
Now, being a WIC person and going to the store and buying food items with the WIC checks, you get to see people's true colors. You know, the self-righteous people that roll their eyes and tap and sigh heavily because one is obviously "trash" if they are using the checks. Well I guess it's payback because let's face it, in our harried lives and maybe in our youth, weren't we those rude people hemming and hawing behind a family using food stamps and/or WIC checks? Last week, I decided to use another store outside my normal one that I use for these purposes and boy did I pay for it, even though I thought I was saving time by doing it before picking up Tigger and getting it done without her.
If looks could kill, I'd be dead. The cashier lady was nice...however, in my usual store I guess I've been making a wrong purchase that they haven't told me about yet this cashier said I had to trade this food for something else...I think the cereal boxes have to be in 12 oz boxes or more instead of 9 oz (yes silly rules) and so of course the people behind me started giving me that evil stare. You know the "if you weren't a slut stare", and the "dang lady wasting our taxes" stare. I was royally embarrassed and wanted to cry. After I got out of there alive much to the happiness of the person behind me, I contemplated on how maybe sometimes I've acted the same way in my teens or early 20s....judging people on food stamps and WIC , not really knowing their situation and/or knowing them as people.
Well now I know what it feels like. While some days I may be in a hurry, I am much kinder and patient in line than I used to be. I have empathy for people if they grabbed the "wrong" item....I KNOW what it feels like to turn red in the face and be embarrassed and I NOW give people the 'evil' eye if they start making a fuss in line behind a person using assistance. I KNOW what it feels like and it doesn't feel good.
If anything, I hope that if you stumble on my blog, my sincerest hope is that this post opens your eyes that it isn't cool to be rude in line. And if you're my friend and start feeling exasperated behind someone using WIC, try to imagine that it is me in line in front of you...is this really how you would treat me?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Fluff tonight!
Yeah I'm not in the mood.....maybe I'll blog about that tomorrow before work, but let's just say I'm glad the day is over.
On a happier note, I figured I"d write down Tigger's words she spontaneously says appropriately and in the right context as well as some phrases I do a double take on....it's mainly jargon, but I swear they sound like the phrases I will write
True words she can say
Mami/Mama
Mimi (means sleep)
Daisy (my dog)
Luz (light in Spanish)
baby
'mer (comer--eat in Spanish)
no
manos (hands in Spanish)
'patos (zapatos--shoes in Spanish)
book
Yay!
Ya (all done Spanish)
Mas (more Spanish)
doggie
bye
phrases I swear I hear, but it's not constant and I have no idea how!
No quiero (I don't want to in Spanish)
este mio (this one is mine in Spanish)
I like this
stop it
pon alla (put it there in Spanish)
True phrases
ya! bye!
doggie woof woof
Comprehension:
points to pictures
in love with and can point out a dog, frog, sheep, horse
can identify eyes, nose, mouth, ears, head, hair, hands, feet when I ask in Spanish on her body.
Responds and says her real name (not Tigger lol)
And then a whole mess of jargon day in and day out....with expected responses from me, so my mind is slightly boggled at this moment
she used to say Nariz (nose in Spanish) but I haven't heard it in a long time.
On a happier note, I figured I"d write down Tigger's words she spontaneously says appropriately and in the right context as well as some phrases I do a double take on....it's mainly jargon, but I swear they sound like the phrases I will write
True words she can say
Mami/Mama
Mimi (means sleep)
Daisy (my dog)
Luz (light in Spanish)
baby
'mer (comer--eat in Spanish)
no
manos (hands in Spanish)
'patos (zapatos--shoes in Spanish)
book
Yay!
Ya (all done Spanish)
Mas (more Spanish)
doggie
bye
phrases I swear I hear, but it's not constant and I have no idea how!
No quiero (I don't want to in Spanish)
este mio (this one is mine in Spanish)
I like this
stop it
pon alla (put it there in Spanish)
True phrases
ya! bye!
doggie woof woof
Comprehension:
points to pictures
in love with and can point out a dog, frog, sheep, horse
can identify eyes, nose, mouth, ears, head, hair, hands, feet when I ask in Spanish on her body.
Responds and says her real name (not Tigger lol)
And then a whole mess of jargon day in and day out....with expected responses from me, so my mind is slightly boggled at this moment
she used to say Nariz (nose in Spanish) but I haven't heard it in a long time.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Brothers & Sisters tackling foster/adoption theme
That being said last Sunday when Scotty and Kevin (Kevin being one of the Walker family members and his husband) were doing the parenting classes for the fost/adopt program in Los Angeles county and then attend an adoption fair where they promptly fall in love with a girl who is extremely friendly and over the top nice to them, I don't get that "awwwww" moment. I got the antenna moment where my brain is screaming "RAD alert" (RAD= Reactive Attachment Disorder). It seems as though Kevin and Scotty are going to rate her in the adoption fair as who they were compatible with and I was left wondering if that was going to be all there was "to it" or would they even show a kid that was having even some attachment issues.
While I don't think it will be to the extreme, I am curious to see how this will play out....I just saw some sneak peaks into a future episode called "choosing a date" that may show this girl as actually acting out when first visiting/placed.
What do you all think? check out these clips....I wish I could find them without the stupid advertisements before the actual clip, but try to hang in there over into the clips. Remember while I couldn't find a clip of the adoption fair, this girl "Olivia" was very sweet, charismatic, and melted their hearts.
Now watch this: Meeting at the adoption SW office
And then this: Asking advice for sneaking a boy in
Ok so it's TV and media, it won't show everything, but at least I"m glad that they showed the "happy child" when first meeting and then obvious change in behavior even if it's minor compared to what can actually happen and the adjustment factor.
Remember this is also the TV show that did a domestic infant transracial adoption with Kitty and Robert without any indication of paperwork signing, counseling, or social workers so should be interesting to watch how this plays out.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Reality bites! But I'm not really complaining!
Well today was Tigger's first well baby check-up with the new Pediatrician under my insurance. The great thing is that because it was a visit for a well baby, I didn't have to pay the co-pay, woohoo....I was like yeah just like old times (one positive during the time before finalization, Tigger had medical and I never had to pay for Dr. visits or medicine). However, as we were talking and going over medical records and I was discussing some doubt as to whether or not recent coughing was asthmatic in nature, the new Dr. did prescribe out preventative medicine and an air chamber vent, as well as a visit next month to follow up and see if Tigger continues to persist in her asthmatic cough. Then I went to pay for the medicine inhaler and air chamber vent....um $120.....whooeeeee, well yay for insurance boo that I still had to pay ten million dollars for this beginning set of preventative care. I had forgotten how expensive it can be to need certain medicines. Well we started using it tonight....thank goodness she likes it better than the dang nebulizer we had to use all winter long last year. I hope this works and I can feel peace of mind.
In other news, from the 12 month well baby check-up (which her well baby is always a month later so for her about 13 mo) she measured in at 29 3/4 inches.....fast forward now to the 15 month (she just turned 17 months) well baby check-up.....33 inches tall boosting her up in the percentile....the "bad" news? she still weighs the same as she did at the 12 month well baby check-up, plummeting her on the downward percentile path for weight....ugh I hate that, this is the ONE area where you really pray they are average because if not, then you get the lecture on food and nutrition (as if I didn't already know she needs to add more fat to her diet after the whole allergy to milk thing came to light)....this happens if a baby is to chunky or if a baby is too skinny, so yeah Tigger is on the outskirts of "typical" in both height and weight for now. Let's see what happens later on. So of course, I should be expecting a call from a nutritionist as the insurance I have is really big into "preventative" care so I'll be waiting for that phone call on how better to "fatten up" my Tigger.
So welcome to complete motherhood, empty pocketbook and new things to perseverate on (in a healthy way of course). At least Tigger rocked it out in her skinny jeans that her Aunt from FL sent her for Christmas. Girl will not cease to be fashionable.
In other news, from the 12 month well baby check-up (which her well baby is always a month later so for her about 13 mo) she measured in at 29 3/4 inches.....fast forward now to the 15 month (she just turned 17 months) well baby check-up.....33 inches tall boosting her up in the percentile....the "bad" news? she still weighs the same as she did at the 12 month well baby check-up, plummeting her on the downward percentile path for weight....ugh I hate that, this is the ONE area where you really pray they are average because if not, then you get the lecture on food and nutrition (as if I didn't already know she needs to add more fat to her diet after the whole allergy to milk thing came to light)....this happens if a baby is to chunky or if a baby is too skinny, so yeah Tigger is on the outskirts of "typical" in both height and weight for now. Let's see what happens later on. So of course, I should be expecting a call from a nutritionist as the insurance I have is really big into "preventative" care so I'll be waiting for that phone call on how better to "fatten up" my Tigger.
So welcome to complete motherhood, empty pocketbook and new things to perseverate on (in a healthy way of course). At least Tigger rocked it out in her skinny jeans that her Aunt from FL sent her for Christmas. Girl will not cease to be fashionable.
New beginnings
Well yesterday we started our life back to routine after that wonderful Christmas vacation! There's something magical about the holidays and something just so mundane about going back to work.
When I dropped Tigger off yesterday her lip was a pout, but she was a trooper and did not cry when I left her at her daycare. Today we have her overdue 15 month well baby check up. Why are we overdue? sigh because her adoption finalized right before her 15 month was due (she's about a month behind on her appointment due to when she started getting shots) and then I had to switch her to my insurance which her previous pediatrician didn't take and then I had to look up a new Doctor and well, that's just life so finally today, she will have her well baby check-up and hopefully I like the new Doctor. I don't like switching Doctors, but it is what it is and I hope this one is a good one!
I also have some personal goals at work to do this coming year. I volunteered to work on a project yesterday...not quite sure why, well I know why, but I usually shy away from things like that because it reminds me too much of graduate school and I still have the feeling of "getting away" from graduate school and anything that may remotely remind me of it. But it's time to be more involved at work than what I am already so this will be a good thing.
I have personal goals as well. I don't call them resolutions, I call them personal goals. One of them is to shy away from the computer more as there is more to life and organization in my home than just sitting in front of the computer searching about nothing and playing games. Will I still come on to relax? sure, but maybe not as often.
I hope that as the first week of 2011 continues, you all have some direction as to where you want to take your life to.
When I dropped Tigger off yesterday her lip was a pout, but she was a trooper and did not cry when I left her at her daycare. Today we have her overdue 15 month well baby check up. Why are we overdue? sigh because her adoption finalized right before her 15 month was due (she's about a month behind on her appointment due to when she started getting shots) and then I had to switch her to my insurance which her previous pediatrician didn't take and then I had to look up a new Doctor and well, that's just life so finally today, she will have her well baby check-up and hopefully I like the new Doctor. I don't like switching Doctors, but it is what it is and I hope this one is a good one!
I also have some personal goals at work to do this coming year. I volunteered to work on a project yesterday...not quite sure why, well I know why, but I usually shy away from things like that because it reminds me too much of graduate school and I still have the feeling of "getting away" from graduate school and anything that may remotely remind me of it. But it's time to be more involved at work than what I am already so this will be a good thing.
I have personal goals as well. I don't call them resolutions, I call them personal goals. One of them is to shy away from the computer more as there is more to life and organization in my home than just sitting in front of the computer searching about nothing and playing games. Will I still come on to relax? sure, but maybe not as often.
I hope that as the first week of 2011 continues, you all have some direction as to where you want to take your life to.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Hmmmmmm!!!!!!!
Well I guess it was bound to happen some time or another but at this time last year well a year and some weeks ago, I had beautiful long hair with some highlights in it, a year ago I had a cute a-line bob with diminishing highlights....this year, I have a sassy short hair cut AND gray hair? What on earth? I know I had highlights in my hair and growing out highlights but I'm pretty sure I did not have gray hair at all last year.
Granted, I know fost/adopt programs can bring out stress or bring inner turmoil, but really? I thought I had handled it ok. Maybe not. I'd blame it on heredity but neither my mom nor my dad started with their gray hairs until almost 50....even now, my dad's hair is half gray and half brown, but because he has such a head of hair on him, you can see the gray but it's not overpoweing. My mom? well you still have to dig and look through to find her strands. So yeah I think it was brought on by stress I guess. My my, I guess I will have to either make do with it or do highlights again so it won't become a focal point. I'm way too young to have gray hair don't you think?
Granted, I know fost/adopt programs can bring out stress or bring inner turmoil, but really? I thought I had handled it ok. Maybe not. I'd blame it on heredity but neither my mom nor my dad started with their gray hairs until almost 50....even now, my dad's hair is half gray and half brown, but because he has such a head of hair on him, you can see the gray but it's not overpoweing. My mom? well you still have to dig and look through to find her strands. So yeah I think it was brought on by stress I guess. My my, I guess I will have to either make do with it or do highlights again so it won't become a focal point. I'm way too young to have gray hair don't you think?
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