Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Life and Adoption news

So S and I finally had a true blue couple moment this weekend when my feelings were hurt over something and his feelings got hurt because he felt bad about hurting my feelings.  We don't really see it as "that we had an argument", but we were able to finally test our communication skills and we worked through it and lived to tell about it!  Ha!  We still maintain that we haven't had a true blue argument yet, however, most of our time together after Tigger is in bed is spent in conversation and discussion over books that we are reading....which are books on relationships.  (Yes we really are THAT corny)  Currently we are discussing "Love Languages the Singles Edition" and have taken our love language profile so we have an idea of the hierarchy each other feels is most important to them.  There is a book about that for married people too and I think it's great.  S and I have been able to learn more information about how we grew up, what our pet peeves are, how we feel loved, about each other than just in random conversation.  So yeah obviously I think it's a great book to talk about and share with your spouse or significant other.

S, Tigger, and I enjoying ourselves after resolving our 'moment'
In Adoption News:

I don't think I ever advertised on the blog that I was homestudy ready for adding a second child into my home, but I have been since the summer and since before meeting S.  He knew about it and has been a steadfast supporter.  I'm sure it helps that he is a medical social worker and runs groups for domestic violence and substance abuse for the office of probation in the county that he lives in.  Anyways in 8 months I had not received a call.  Today I did, however, unfortunately, both my social worker and I ended up thinking the match was not a good fit for my home so I ended up having to pass on the match.  That always puts me in a bad mood only because children are not vehicles or appliances.  Even if I did the best thing for the child by passing so she could then be placed with an appropriate family, the thought process for me is that I rejected a child.  That always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  Children should not ever be in a position where they need to get rejected or passed by.  There are many things about the foster/adoption process that are hard, however, I think that when one says "no" to a match....even if it's the right and best decision due to circumstances....that is the most painful part of the process.  My prayers go out to all the children that need homes and that they end up in the right ones.

And in final news, Tigger will begin ballet/tap lessons tomorrow!

could you just die!  I love tiny dance shoes

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Things that make you go hmmmmm

So with that blog post I linked to, tonight had another "hmmmmm" moment.

S needed to make a 2 hour trip to see his daughter tonight instead of hanging at my house like he does every Thursday.  She needed him tonight and that's where I'll leave it at, however, since we (S and I) were texting and we talked because I wanted to know how she was doing and such, I got to talk to S's daughter for the first time.  Here's how that phone call went

A:  Hey there future stepmother
me:  ?????? *nervous laughter* hi sweetie how are you doing?
A: not bad not bad, I just wanted to say hi....can't wait to meet you in person
me:  that would be great actually
A:  My dad showed me pictures of my future stepsister and she is adorable....I bought her some socks, but they may be too small cuz duh I don't know what size she has
me: ???? Wow that is really sweet of you thank you!
.......conversation goes on for about another 2-3 minutes and then she hands the phone back to S.

Did I mention I'm dating a man 9 years older than me and that I am a big whopping 11 years older than his daughter?  yeah, this is me....I've always lived life a little differently.  Hey if what A says does come to pass, I should just hope that I don't turn into the proverbial Cinderella stepmother.....or we can always pretend we're no....well....yanno?  My uncle is 6 months younger than's all good.

As if being a transracial single adoptive mom by choice wasn't different enough!  And that my friends are my hmmmm thoughts.

Story that makes you go hmmmm

One hopes that the world is great and wonderful, however, this is a story that makes one go hmmmm.  It's also why I am getting a picture ID (passport ID) for Tigger.

A commentary on a blog post called "Babysitting while White"

Brown Babies Pink Parents

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Hospital part II

So my last post left you all knowing that my precious Tigger was in the hospital.  Last week she stayed home all week long and I stayed home 3 days out of 5 since I could only get help for 2 days.  Tigger was still recovering so it was quite an exhausting week hence no blogging for tired mommy!

Anyways, I told you all that we had some classic "adoption" moments at the hospital.  The first one is the obvious question when we arrived via ambulance.
Nurse: "is there a family history of asthma"?
Me:  ummmm *crickets chirping*  I don't think so? but I'm not positively sure.....
Nurse:  "can you explain?"
Me:  I adopted Tigger and have some medical information but not very extensive so I don't think so but I'm not entirely sure
Nurse: "oh, ok"
Me:  I have a goofy smile on my face....thinking....Oh Lord, this is just the beginning.

the classic shift change bringing in a Nurse that is highly conversational and intrusive albeit a highly "special" one (even though she was nice, she was just special let me tell you)

Nurse:  Oh mom where did baby get her curly hair?
S:  squeezes my hand hard.....translation:  you're not telling ms. busybody are you?
Me:  smiling sweetly "oh it runs in the family"
S:  laughs heartily
Room:  laughter.....(I had about 6-8 family visitors constantly)
Nurse:  oh runs in family...yeah I granddaughters are twins....guess what?  they are blonde  BLONDE....(nurse is Asian)
Me:  laughs out of hospital stress and just wanting Ms. Busybody and my well meaning family to exit the room so I can breathe and focus on Tigger

Later S says to me:  "I'm all about honesty and stuff, but really....Ms. Busybody didn't need that information, good answer honey!"
Me:  Thanks babe!

Saturday night, S spent the night at the hospital with Tigger and I and in the morning....oh Ms. Busybody nurse came in and was talking to S in this manner:  "so daddy, have baby sit here with you"
Me:  "......."  I was a bit taken aback
S:  Come here Tigger and sit with me
Me:  mouths 'thanks honey'

Yes the weekend was full of reminders of how un-typical my family is.