Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Life and Adoption news

So S and I finally had a true blue couple moment this weekend when my feelings were hurt over something and his feelings got hurt because he felt bad about hurting my feelings.  We don't really see it as "that we had an argument", but we were able to finally test our communication skills and we worked through it and lived to tell about it!  Ha!  We still maintain that we haven't had a true blue argument yet, however, most of our time together after Tigger is in bed is spent in conversation and discussion over books that we are reading....which are books on relationships.  (Yes we really are THAT corny)  Currently we are discussing "Love Languages the Singles Edition" and have taken our love language profile so we have an idea of the hierarchy each other feels is most important to them.  There is a book about that for married people too and I think it's great.  S and I have been able to learn more information about how we grew up, what our pet peeves are, how we feel loved, about each other than just in random conversation.  So yeah obviously I think it's a great book to talk about and share with your spouse or significant other.

S, Tigger, and I enjoying ourselves after resolving our 'moment'
In Adoption News:

I don't think I ever advertised on the blog that I was homestudy ready for adding a second child into my home, but I have been since the summer and since before meeting S.  He knew about it and has been a steadfast supporter.  I'm sure it helps that he is a medical social worker and runs groups for domestic violence and substance abuse for the office of probation in the county that he lives in.  Anyways in 8 months I had not received a call.  Today I did, however, unfortunately, both my social worker and I ended up thinking the match was not a good fit for my home so I ended up having to pass on the match.  That always puts me in a bad mood only because children are not vehicles or appliances.  Even if I did the best thing for the child by passing so she could then be placed with an appropriate family, the thought process for me is that I rejected a child.  That always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  Children should not ever be in a position where they need to get rejected or passed by.  There are many things about the foster/adoption process that are hard, however, I think that when one says "no" to a match....even if it's the right and best decision due to circumstances....that is the most painful part of the process.  My prayers go out to all the children that need homes and that they end up in the right ones.



And in final news, Tigger will begin ballet/tap lessons tomorrow!

could you just die!  I love tiny dance shoes


5 comments:

Ticia said...

Little shoes are really cute.

Marcy said...

I love little ballerinas!! There is pretty much nothing cuter. I am putting H in "creative movement" which is early ballet here. I can't wait to see her dance (tromp) around!

In other news....congrats on working out your "first" conflict! I think it's great you are reading a lot together. You are setting yourselves up for success.

Margie said...

I haven't been in the blog world for awhile, but am now happily catching up with everyone. Love your update. Glad you're reading all those books. It is NOT a waste of time or corny to do the research you need to to build the foundation of a strong relationship. I wish you all the best.

And, I so feel the same as you do whenever I have had to say no to a placement. Children are priceless and should be regarded as such. God will bring the right match to your home. I pray the one you had to turn down will be matched soon as well.

Blessings to you!

DeeChloRox said...

I've been wondering about you and a second child. Of course, I'm also thinking marriage for you. My...your life is complicated!

When Dee started dance this year, a mom asked me why I waited so long. The dance owner told me she started at the same age because her parents didn't have the money. I didn't answer either. At least Tigger is starting at the "right" age!

Every couple needs a good argument or two because making sure you can "fight fair" is a big part of a relationship. Now...you are on your way!

See Jamie blog said...

This is my first time visiting your blog. We've started the process for a second adoption, too.

And little shoes = adorable. ;)