A lot of information to share

And yes you all will get the story!  It is just past midnight where I am at and I need some sleep after an exciting day.  In the next 24 hours you will hear about 2 stories:

1) Story #1  My decision to put adoption plans of a 2nd child on hold

2) Story #2  I'M ENGAGED!!!!! and my engagement story !!!!!!

Stay tuned.  Since I am on Spring Break and S works very long hours on Wednesday, I will have time to write.  Until then friends.  Have a great night and morning!

It never ceases to amaze me that my life is really not going in "normal" order

Yesterday was just a funny day.  It was fun, it was jovial, and it was an introduction to a new phase of our lives. Nope not a new child, but I did meet S's daughter for the first time.  It was a blast and we all had fun.  While in pictures we look more like sisters than would be stepmom/stepdaughter people, it was fun and a great time was had by all.  (and I still am closer in age to S than I am to his daughter!!!!!)

So much for following the "normal" protocol.  I love my life.

Driving down to the Zoo

S's daughter and us

S with both his daughter and mine

I crack up every single time I look at this picture.  It's funny to me

Life and Adoption news

So S and I finally had a true blue couple moment this weekend when my feelings were hurt over something and his feelings got hurt because he felt bad about hurting my feelings.  We don't really see it as "that we had an argument", but we were able to finally test our communication skills and we worked through it and lived to tell about it!  Ha!  We still maintain that we haven't had a true blue argument yet, however, most of our time together after Tigger is in bed is spent in conversation and discussion over books that we are reading....which are books on relationships.  (Yes we really are THAT corny)  Currently we are discussing "Love Languages the Singles Edition" and have taken our love language profile so we have an idea of the hierarchy each other feels is most important to them.  There is a book about that for married people too and I think it's great.  S and I have been able to learn more information about how we grew up, what our pet peeves are, how we feel loved, about each other than just in random conversation.  So yeah obviously I think it's a great book to talk about and share with your spouse or significant other.

S, Tigger, and I enjoying ourselves after resolving our 'moment'

In Adoption News:

I don't think I ever advertised on the blog that I was homestudy ready for adding a second child into my home, but I have been since the summer and since before meeting S.  He knew about it and has been a steadfast supporter.  I'm sure it helps that he is a medical social worker and runs groups for domestic violence and substance abuse for the office of probation in the county that he lives in.  Anyways in 8 months I had not received a call.  Today I did, however, unfortunately, both my social worker and I ended up thinking the match was not a good fit for my home so I ended up having to pass on the match.  That always puts me in a bad mood only because children are not vehicles or appliances.  Even if I did the best thing for the child by passing so she could then be placed with an appropriate family, the thought process for me is that I rejected a child.  That always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  Children should not ever be in a position where they need to get rejected or passed by.  There are many things about the foster/adoption process that are hard, however, I think that when one says "no" to a match....even if it's the right and best decision due to circumstances....that is the most painful part of the process.  My prayers go out to all the children that need homes and that they end up in the right ones.

And in final news, Tigger will begin ballet/tap lessons tomorrow!

could you just die!  I love tiny dance shoes

Things that make you go hmmmmm

So with that blog post I linked to, tonight had another "hmmmmm" moment.

S needed to make a 2 hour trip to see his daughter tonight instead of hanging at my house like he does every Thursday.  She needed him tonight and that's where I'll leave it at, however, since we (S and I) were texting and we talked because I wanted to know how she was doing and such, I got to talk to S's daughter for the first time.  Here's how that phone call went

A:  Hey there future stepmother
me:  ?????? *nervous laughter* hi sweetie how are you doing?
A: not bad not bad, I just wanted to say hi....can't wait to meet you in person
me:  that would be great actually
A:  My dad showed me pictures of my future stepsister and she is adorable....I bought her some socks, but they may be too small cuz duh I don't know what size she has
me: ???? Wow that is really sweet of you thank you!
.......conversation goes on for about another 2-3 minutes and then she hands the phone back to S.

Did I mention I'm dating a man 9 years older than me and that I am a big whopping 11 years older than his daughter?  yeah, this is me....I've always lived life a little differently.  Hey if what A says does come to pass, I should just hope that I don't turn into the proverbial Cinderella stepmother.....or we can always pretend we're sisters...um no....well....yanno?  My uncle is 6 months younger than I.....it's all good.

As if being a transracial single adoptive mom by choice wasn't different enough!  And that my friends are my hmmmm thoughts.

a recap of 2011

Happy New Year Blogger family!

I hope that 2012 has great things planned for you all.  2011 was a great year for us and I decided to do a recap!

First time at play group Jan. 2011

The first time, she pretended to play house and clean Feb. 2011

New Room set up

New Big Girl Bed

First time at the Wild Animal Park

First time at Vacation Bible School Summer 2011

Turns 2 at Chuck E. Cheese Summer of 2011

First time at the beach for the day

First completion of swimming lessons summer 2011

first time at Sea World

Last Day of her daycare Summer 2011

First day of Nursery Preschool Aug. 2011

First pony ride by herself September 2011

First big ride....the giant slide September 2011

First Christmas Performance Dec. 2011

Beginning of a more serious relationship with S Oct. 2011

New Year's Eve....Tigger in bed and mami hanging out with S 

To a great 2012.

Christmas brings a full circle

Two stories of loss and new life for Christmas.

My darling daughter Tigger was placed with me 2 years ago during the month of December.  I'm very enamoured with her and love being her mom.  Of course her placement didn't come without a story of loss, all foster children little or big come to their new families with a past loss.  I wish nothing but success and happiness for her.  Right now, I"m just happy she is 2 years old and enjoying herself this Christmas and loving life.  Emotions are a funny thing.

This year, I am in love with a wonderful guy.  I just received a delivery of a dozen red roses about 2 hours ago with a note saying simply "I love you, S".  That story also begins with a loss.  7 years ago his wife passed away suddenly and tragically.  He can miss his late wife and we can still be in love together this Christmas.  Emotions are a funny thing.

Here's my Christmas wish.....that we can grow and know that our losses make us who we are, but that our new lives also make us who are too.  May they intertwine and not compete with each other.  Life is a journey.  To the two people I love this Christmas....I love every part of who you both are....the past and the present.

The Con of Single parenting

No matter how altruistic your plans are....when you date, even when things are awesome, even when you shield  your kid from too much of the other person, your kid still breaks your heart and reminds you of why single parenting is hard.

Tonight Tigger was asking me about S.  I told her S doesn't live at the house and he was at work....that maybe she will see him on the weekend for a little bit.  She sat down and cried and asked me to open the door so that "S" could come in.

Sigh, as much as I try to keep it cool, she "knows"...and now Tigger likes S a lot and S really likes Tigger and is fun to be around when Tigger is with us even in a group.

Prayers for our family please!

From my house to yours

I hope this Thanksgiving brings about warm memories.  Tigger and I are doing well and just enjoying time together with family.

Poor S gets to spend Thanksgiving with my family and he is a big football fan and my folks aren't and usually have the TV off so we'll see how it goes.  Ah young love, he is sucking it up and coming anyways.  What a guy.  I told him he could go out with my cousins and check out game scores if he really gets antsy.

Hopefully you all are enjoying some great food by now or later in the day.

Peace and Joy from our house to yours!