Journey to Tigger

As some of you may know, November is National Adoption Month.  Since this month deals with that wonderful thing called awareness, I figured I would blog like crazy and just put some adoption themed posts out there this month. 

Before we start though, I'd like to just write about how Tigger and I came to be.  It's interesting how feelings and desires of a teenager actually came full circle even if in a different way than originally thought. 

I guess you can say I've always had a tender heart.  I would be the one crazy kid to cry at the end of "the fox and the hound" over that phrase "we'll always be friends forever" "yeah forever", tender moments touched my heart, and as I grew up I developed a tender spot for children.  I have no idea why, after all I was the tomboy girl that hated wearing dresses, played with matchbox cars, ignored the dolls my mom would give me, and trains along with Lincoln logs were my choice of toys...not really into playing house or anything innately mothering of dolls and such.  But individuals are crazy, neat, and astounding constantly morphing in their likes and their path of life. 

As a teenager I vaguely became aware of baby girls in China that were in orphanages.  I decided right then and there that I would adopt a child and not only that, I would adopt a baby girl from China that needed a home.  I proclaimed this mantra to anyone that would listen and I'm sure I scared off a boyfriend or two by the time college rolled around.  I had too much fun in college.  Dreams of adoption went on the back burner and I did what any good college kid did away from home...I made friends, made stupid decisions, and for some reason still managed to graduate in four years.  Moving back to my home state, I quickly settled into a routine of work, Grad school, and learning about life.  I started dating an old high school friend of mine and that went well for a while.  I then remembered my dream of adopting a child and shared that we could do this!  Boyfriend wasn't at all on board with this idea so in my disappointment I became at peace with the idea that adoption wouldn't be a part of my life.  Well this boyfriend and I broke it off and then I just dated here and there, never really becoming serious with anyone else again. 

By this time I was done with Graduate school and was working hard in the school system.  As a Speech/Language Pathologist I assessed many preschool kids.  I also assessed many children that actually were in the foster care system.  I learned a lot about the foster care system and quickly became an annoying voice of advocacy for the children in the system...whether or not I knew about issues in the foster care system or not, I just knew that if I ever were to adopt, I decided that international was not my way, but I would pursue foster care. 

It would be a few years, two casual dating relationships later, after purchasing my townhouse, that I began my quest to be a mom.  Most people that knew (which were primarily my co-workers) were supportive.  I don't know what it is about the people working in the school system, but many that adopt do so from foster care.  Maybe working in a system that is flawed somehow lessons the fear of working with another system that is flawed?  I don't know, but in any case, I had nothing but support.  I only had one person that thought I was too young to be "throwing my life away". (apparently one has to be older than 30 when deciding to be a single mom????????)  Family was also very supportive. 

I started my quest to get licensed in November of 2008.  Was homestudied and licensed by June of 2009.  I received my call for Tigger in December of 2009 and I completely panicked...I was ready for a toddler or a preschooler, I had no idea they would actually call me about an infant.  Nevertheless, I accepted, called my parents in a panic and we spent over $1,000 at Babies R Us that night.  Tigger came to me December 15, 2009.  She was 4 months old.  I love looking at pictures of last Christmas as it shows two things....Tigger's unsmiling face, and my 'deer in the headlights' look.  I love what we have become this year.  A family of two.  I will write more on attachment and our bonding experience later, however, this year with all it's surprises, moments of panic, and absolute joy, I would not trade it for anything. 

People ask me all the time whether or not being a single mom is hard on me.  I can honestly answer "I don't know" it's what I'm used to and it's pretty dang great.  Yeah do I wish I had an extra set of hands so I can cook, clean, keep Tigger from stunts that cause imminent death? Sure....but I will tell anyone that being a mom is the best thing in the world.  I still advocate for foster care, I still talk about fost/adopt programs with anyone who will listen.  The scary part is that I may decide to do this crazy business again...I haven't made up my mind though, but choosing to be a mom, however it comes about...the best thing that I have ever chosen. 

And that is my very summarized version of how Tigger and I got together.  November is National Adoption Month.  It's a time to share awareness of many issues surrounding adoption...many issues that the average person may not think about.  I hope that my random writings may be of some use this month.