Tuesday, September 6, 2011

It doesn't phase me really....at least not today!

Work with my brain here, it thinks like a person that works in the Special Education department.  Parenting typical developing children and parenting children with special needs may be different.  Children with special needs may need specific things/routines/tutoring/learning strategies in order to be successful in education and becoming productive members of our society.  Parenting typically developing children still involves looking at how to help them become productive members of our society.  Is a parent's love for them the same?  absolutely!  It's just a different path one may has to explore in order to be the best parent there is.

So why do some people become defensive and up in arms if someone were to say that parenting children that are adopted vs. parenting children one gave birth to, is different?  I see nothing to get defensive over.  Each path is different and parents have to deal with and help their children become productive members of society.  It is not a sin to say that there are different aspects to parenting your adopted child.  The differences can come in a variety of ways, some of which I've blogged about briefly

  • race (transracial adoption)
  • discrepancy in medical history
  • attachment parenting
as well as a myriad of other relevant topics.  Does this mean there is a discrepancy in a parent's love for their child?  um heck no!  I'd give every limb for my child twice over.  I have no problem saying my parenting path may be different than someone else's.  I love my child....we have other specific issues that may need to be address that wouldn't have to be if my child would have been born to me.  And?  It's our reality and one we can face and go through day by day so my child can become a productive member of society.  There is nothing offensive about that to me at all.  It doesn't change how I feel about my child, much like being a parent of a child with special needs....it's a different path.  

And that is how I see things.  


Unknown said...

Loved it!!

Peter Combs said...

I totally agree. I think people tend to argue that their path is harder or more official, merely because they'd like to believe that their actions are more legitimate than the next person's. A couple of years ago, I had full custody of my nephew. During that time I did everything a parent would do for him. I fed him, I clothed him, I sat with him all night to work on his homework, I put him in baseball... you name it, I did it. Was it different than having a biological child? Yes, I am sure it was. Was it easier? I think not. The thing that annoyed me about this whole situation was that everyone around us, including my in-laws, refused to think of us as parenting a child. Whenever we struggled with something their attitude was "well if you weren't ready to deal with him you shouldn't have brought him into your house". We were constantly told that we didn't really have children and when we did it would be different and THEN we would understand responsibility. This attitude irritates me.

Nicole said...

Brava Dannie! I agree, its just like raising a boy and a girl, its not the same! Each child is their own person, whether special needs, adopted, boy, girl, whatever, each child needs to be raised in a way that rounds off their personality and molds them into stand up citizens of society

Anonymous said...

Love this post!