So I went to my first official post-adoption meeting last evening. It was actually quite helpful, which is why I didn't have time to write last night. In fact this post is short because I got to get to work and I'm going to play around with the "post options" and see if it will indeed schedule a post to be put on the blog at the time I order it to. (yes I know I have weird humor like that)
Anyways I learned new stuff about resources should I ever need them, about how/when/where/why I would use Tigger's medical card and when is it good as a secondary insurance (I did find out last night that the money I spent for her asthma medication I could have presented her medical card and it might have paid for the medicine...uh well next time) and when it would be beneficial to have it as the only form of insurance for a child.
We learned about support groups in the area, about mental health, about the school district and their services (I was glad to have information to share in that aspect ) and we learned about the adoption tax credit and what form needs to be used.
Nothing I haven't *heard* before online or in my classes way back when, but it was nice to have a meeting just to go over it again and to get numbers for assistance should I need it later on. Oh the things you learn! I feel like I'm understanding not only the public school system, but the foster care and mental health care system better. I think that rocks! Hopefully it means I can assist with information if a parent or someone has any questions or wonders why the system is set up in a particular way.
Toodaloo, my morning commute awaits....hopefully my scheduling of this post works!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
A little taste of what I"m sure most of us are guilty of doing!
The hardest part of being a foster parent sometimes is accepting the help and going along with all the services provided. Not that they aren't great, but sometimes one feels like they are crossing the line into entitlement and it's a dance of what your mind "deems" as being right.
Case in point, when Tigger came, she received WIC, so naturally it continued. It's a great program and I'm very glad that my tax dollars go to fund such an awesome program, it's just that sometimes I felt out of place. I got over it because in the end it wasn't about "me" it was about making sure Tigger received what she needed in light of the fact that she may not have received good nutrition beforehand. OK I get it. So it's not about me, it's about making Tigger healthy and being accountable to making Tigger eat healthy.
Fast forward and now we are a forever family. Because of her past foster care history, in our state Tigger still receives insurance from the state as secondary and because of that, she still receives WIC. Again I feel weird because while we are not rich, I can buy food, we're not destitute. Again, I'm counseled and told that Tigger unlike my typical pregnant friend may not have received prenatal care and good nutrition and accountability for that is good for HER and it has nothing to do with me. I was then told that if it made me feel better, I payed taxes and I"m just seeing the benefits of where my tax dollars go to. Ok.
Now, being a WIC person and going to the store and buying food items with the WIC checks, you get to see people's true colors. You know, the self-righteous people that roll their eyes and tap and sigh heavily because one is obviously "trash" if they are using the checks. Well I guess it's payback because let's face it, in our harried lives and maybe in our youth, weren't we those rude people hemming and hawing behind a family using food stamps and/or WIC checks? Last week, I decided to use another store outside my normal one that I use for these purposes and boy did I pay for it, even though I thought I was saving time by doing it before picking up Tigger and getting it done without her.
If looks could kill, I'd be dead. The cashier lady was nice...however, in my usual store I guess I've been making a wrong purchase that they haven't told me about yet this cashier said I had to trade this food for something else...I think the cereal boxes have to be in 12 oz boxes or more instead of 9 oz (yes silly rules) and so of course the people behind me started giving me that evil stare. You know the "if you weren't a slut stare", and the "dang lady wasting our taxes" stare. I was royally embarrassed and wanted to cry. After I got out of there alive much to the happiness of the person behind me, I contemplated on how maybe sometimes I've acted the same way in my teens or early 20s....judging people on food stamps and WIC , not really knowing their situation and/or knowing them as people.
Well now I know what it feels like. While some days I may be in a hurry, I am much kinder and patient in line than I used to be. I have empathy for people if they grabbed the "wrong" item....I KNOW what it feels like to turn red in the face and be embarrassed and I NOW give people the 'evil' eye if they start making a fuss in line behind a person using assistance. I KNOW what it feels like and it doesn't feel good.
If anything, I hope that if you stumble on my blog, my sincerest hope is that this post opens your eyes that it isn't cool to be rude in line. And if you're my friend and start feeling exasperated behind someone using WIC, try to imagine that it is me in line in front of you...is this really how you would treat me?
Case in point, when Tigger came, she received WIC, so naturally it continued. It's a great program and I'm very glad that my tax dollars go to fund such an awesome program, it's just that sometimes I felt out of place. I got over it because in the end it wasn't about "me" it was about making sure Tigger received what she needed in light of the fact that she may not have received good nutrition beforehand. OK I get it. So it's not about me, it's about making Tigger healthy and being accountable to making Tigger eat healthy.
Fast forward and now we are a forever family. Because of her past foster care history, in our state Tigger still receives insurance from the state as secondary and because of that, she still receives WIC. Again I feel weird because while we are not rich, I can buy food, we're not destitute. Again, I'm counseled and told that Tigger unlike my typical pregnant friend may not have received prenatal care and good nutrition and accountability for that is good for HER and it has nothing to do with me. I was then told that if it made me feel better, I payed taxes and I"m just seeing the benefits of where my tax dollars go to. Ok.
Now, being a WIC person and going to the store and buying food items with the WIC checks, you get to see people's true colors. You know, the self-righteous people that roll their eyes and tap and sigh heavily because one is obviously "trash" if they are using the checks. Well I guess it's payback because let's face it, in our harried lives and maybe in our youth, weren't we those rude people hemming and hawing behind a family using food stamps and/or WIC checks? Last week, I decided to use another store outside my normal one that I use for these purposes and boy did I pay for it, even though I thought I was saving time by doing it before picking up Tigger and getting it done without her.
If looks could kill, I'd be dead. The cashier lady was nice...however, in my usual store I guess I've been making a wrong purchase that they haven't told me about yet this cashier said I had to trade this food for something else...I think the cereal boxes have to be in 12 oz boxes or more instead of 9 oz (yes silly rules) and so of course the people behind me started giving me that evil stare. You know the "if you weren't a slut stare", and the "dang lady wasting our taxes" stare. I was royally embarrassed and wanted to cry. After I got out of there alive much to the happiness of the person behind me, I contemplated on how maybe sometimes I've acted the same way in my teens or early 20s....judging people on food stamps and WIC , not really knowing their situation and/or knowing them as people.
Well now I know what it feels like. While some days I may be in a hurry, I am much kinder and patient in line than I used to be. I have empathy for people if they grabbed the "wrong" item....I KNOW what it feels like to turn red in the face and be embarrassed and I NOW give people the 'evil' eye if they start making a fuss in line behind a person using assistance. I KNOW what it feels like and it doesn't feel good.
If anything, I hope that if you stumble on my blog, my sincerest hope is that this post opens your eyes that it isn't cool to be rude in line. And if you're my friend and start feeling exasperated behind someone using WIC, try to imagine that it is me in line in front of you...is this really how you would treat me?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Fluff tonight!
Yeah I'm not in the mood.....maybe I'll blog about that tomorrow before work, but let's just say I'm glad the day is over.
On a happier note, I figured I"d write down Tigger's words she spontaneously says appropriately and in the right context as well as some phrases I do a double take on....it's mainly jargon, but I swear they sound like the phrases I will write
True words she can say
Mami/Mama
Mimi (means sleep)
Daisy (my dog)
Luz (light in Spanish)
baby
'mer (comer--eat in Spanish)
no
manos (hands in Spanish)
'patos (zapatos--shoes in Spanish)
book
Yay!
Ya (all done Spanish)
Mas (more Spanish)
doggie
bye
phrases I swear I hear, but it's not constant and I have no idea how!
No quiero (I don't want to in Spanish)
este mio (this one is mine in Spanish)
I like this
stop it
pon alla (put it there in Spanish)
True phrases
ya! bye!
doggie woof woof
Comprehension:
points to pictures
in love with and can point out a dog, frog, sheep, horse
can identify eyes, nose, mouth, ears, head, hair, hands, feet when I ask in Spanish on her body.
Responds and says her real name (not Tigger lol)
And then a whole mess of jargon day in and day out....with expected responses from me, so my mind is slightly boggled at this moment
she used to say Nariz (nose in Spanish) but I haven't heard it in a long time.
On a happier note, I figured I"d write down Tigger's words she spontaneously says appropriately and in the right context as well as some phrases I do a double take on....it's mainly jargon, but I swear they sound like the phrases I will write
True words she can say
Mami/Mama
Mimi (means sleep)
Daisy (my dog)
Luz (light in Spanish)
baby
'mer (comer--eat in Spanish)
no
manos (hands in Spanish)
'patos (zapatos--shoes in Spanish)
book
Yay!
Ya (all done Spanish)
Mas (more Spanish)
doggie
bye
phrases I swear I hear, but it's not constant and I have no idea how!
No quiero (I don't want to in Spanish)
este mio (this one is mine in Spanish)
I like this
stop it
pon alla (put it there in Spanish)
True phrases
ya! bye!
doggie woof woof
Comprehension:
points to pictures
in love with and can point out a dog, frog, sheep, horse
can identify eyes, nose, mouth, ears, head, hair, hands, feet when I ask in Spanish on her body.
Responds and says her real name (not Tigger lol)
And then a whole mess of jargon day in and day out....with expected responses from me, so my mind is slightly boggled at this moment
she used to say Nariz (nose in Spanish) but I haven't heard it in a long time.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Brothers & Sisters tackling foster/adoption theme
That being said last Sunday when Scotty and Kevin (Kevin being one of the Walker family members and his husband) were doing the parenting classes for the fost/adopt program in Los Angeles county and then attend an adoption fair where they promptly fall in love with a girl who is extremely friendly and over the top nice to them, I don't get that "awwwww" moment. I got the antenna moment where my brain is screaming "RAD alert" (RAD= Reactive Attachment Disorder). It seems as though Kevin and Scotty are going to rate her in the adoption fair as who they were compatible with and I was left wondering if that was going to be all there was "to it" or would they even show a kid that was having even some attachment issues.
While I don't think it will be to the extreme, I am curious to see how this will play out....I just saw some sneak peaks into a future episode called "choosing a date" that may show this girl as actually acting out when first visiting/placed.
What do you all think? check out these clips....I wish I could find them without the stupid advertisements before the actual clip, but try to hang in there over into the clips. Remember while I couldn't find a clip of the adoption fair, this girl "Olivia" was very sweet, charismatic, and melted their hearts.
Now watch this: Meeting at the adoption SW office
And then this: Asking advice for sneaking a boy in
Ok so it's TV and media, it won't show everything, but at least I"m glad that they showed the "happy child" when first meeting and then obvious change in behavior even if it's minor compared to what can actually happen and the adjustment factor.
Remember this is also the TV show that did a domestic infant transracial adoption with Kitty and Robert without any indication of paperwork signing, counseling, or social workers so should be interesting to watch how this plays out.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Reality bites! But I'm not really complaining!
Well today was Tigger's first well baby check-up with the new Pediatrician under my insurance. The great thing is that because it was a visit for a well baby, I didn't have to pay the co-pay, woohoo....I was like yeah just like old times (one positive during the time before finalization, Tigger had medical and I never had to pay for Dr. visits or medicine). However, as we were talking and going over medical records and I was discussing some doubt as to whether or not recent coughing was asthmatic in nature, the new Dr. did prescribe out preventative medicine and an air chamber vent, as well as a visit next month to follow up and see if Tigger continues to persist in her asthmatic cough. Then I went to pay for the medicine inhaler and air chamber vent....um $120.....whooeeeee, well yay for insurance boo that I still had to pay ten million dollars for this beginning set of preventative care. I had forgotten how expensive it can be to need certain medicines. Well we started using it tonight....thank goodness she likes it better than the dang nebulizer we had to use all winter long last year. I hope this works and I can feel peace of mind.
In other news, from the 12 month well baby check-up (which her well baby is always a month later so for her about 13 mo) she measured in at 29 3/4 inches.....fast forward now to the 15 month (she just turned 17 months) well baby check-up.....33 inches tall boosting her up in the percentile....the "bad" news? she still weighs the same as she did at the 12 month well baby check-up, plummeting her on the downward percentile path for weight....ugh I hate that, this is the ONE area where you really pray they are average because if not, then you get the lecture on food and nutrition (as if I didn't already know she needs to add more fat to her diet after the whole allergy to milk thing came to light)....this happens if a baby is to chunky or if a baby is too skinny, so yeah Tigger is on the outskirts of "typical" in both height and weight for now. Let's see what happens later on. So of course, I should be expecting a call from a nutritionist as the insurance I have is really big into "preventative" care so I'll be waiting for that phone call on how better to "fatten up" my Tigger.
So welcome to complete motherhood, empty pocketbook and new things to perseverate on (in a healthy way of course). At least Tigger rocked it out in her skinny jeans that her Aunt from FL sent her for Christmas. Girl will not cease to be fashionable.
In other news, from the 12 month well baby check-up (which her well baby is always a month later so for her about 13 mo) she measured in at 29 3/4 inches.....fast forward now to the 15 month (she just turned 17 months) well baby check-up.....33 inches tall boosting her up in the percentile....the "bad" news? she still weighs the same as she did at the 12 month well baby check-up, plummeting her on the downward percentile path for weight....ugh I hate that, this is the ONE area where you really pray they are average because if not, then you get the lecture on food and nutrition (as if I didn't already know she needs to add more fat to her diet after the whole allergy to milk thing came to light)....this happens if a baby is to chunky or if a baby is too skinny, so yeah Tigger is on the outskirts of "typical" in both height and weight for now. Let's see what happens later on. So of course, I should be expecting a call from a nutritionist as the insurance I have is really big into "preventative" care so I'll be waiting for that phone call on how better to "fatten up" my Tigger.
So welcome to complete motherhood, empty pocketbook and new things to perseverate on (in a healthy way of course). At least Tigger rocked it out in her skinny jeans that her Aunt from FL sent her for Christmas. Girl will not cease to be fashionable.
New beginnings
Well yesterday we started our life back to routine after that wonderful Christmas vacation! There's something magical about the holidays and something just so mundane about going back to work.
When I dropped Tigger off yesterday her lip was a pout, but she was a trooper and did not cry when I left her at her daycare. Today we have her overdue 15 month well baby check up. Why are we overdue? sigh because her adoption finalized right before her 15 month was due (she's about a month behind on her appointment due to when she started getting shots) and then I had to switch her to my insurance which her previous pediatrician didn't take and then I had to look up a new Doctor and well, that's just life so finally today, she will have her well baby check-up and hopefully I like the new Doctor. I don't like switching Doctors, but it is what it is and I hope this one is a good one!
I also have some personal goals at work to do this coming year. I volunteered to work on a project yesterday...not quite sure why, well I know why, but I usually shy away from things like that because it reminds me too much of graduate school and I still have the feeling of "getting away" from graduate school and anything that may remotely remind me of it. But it's time to be more involved at work than what I am already so this will be a good thing.
I have personal goals as well. I don't call them resolutions, I call them personal goals. One of them is to shy away from the computer more as there is more to life and organization in my home than just sitting in front of the computer searching about nothing and playing games. Will I still come on to relax? sure, but maybe not as often.
I hope that as the first week of 2011 continues, you all have some direction as to where you want to take your life to.
When I dropped Tigger off yesterday her lip was a pout, but she was a trooper and did not cry when I left her at her daycare. Today we have her overdue 15 month well baby check up. Why are we overdue? sigh because her adoption finalized right before her 15 month was due (she's about a month behind on her appointment due to when she started getting shots) and then I had to switch her to my insurance which her previous pediatrician didn't take and then I had to look up a new Doctor and well, that's just life so finally today, she will have her well baby check-up and hopefully I like the new Doctor. I don't like switching Doctors, but it is what it is and I hope this one is a good one!
I also have some personal goals at work to do this coming year. I volunteered to work on a project yesterday...not quite sure why, well I know why, but I usually shy away from things like that because it reminds me too much of graduate school and I still have the feeling of "getting away" from graduate school and anything that may remotely remind me of it. But it's time to be more involved at work than what I am already so this will be a good thing.
I have personal goals as well. I don't call them resolutions, I call them personal goals. One of them is to shy away from the computer more as there is more to life and organization in my home than just sitting in front of the computer searching about nothing and playing games. Will I still come on to relax? sure, but maybe not as often.
I hope that as the first week of 2011 continues, you all have some direction as to where you want to take your life to.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Hmmmmmm!!!!!!!
Well I guess it was bound to happen some time or another but at this time last year well a year and some weeks ago, I had beautiful long hair with some highlights in it, a year ago I had a cute a-line bob with diminishing highlights....this year, I have a sassy short hair cut AND gray hair? What on earth? I know I had highlights in my hair and growing out highlights but I'm pretty sure I did not have gray hair at all last year.
Granted, I know fost/adopt programs can bring out stress or bring inner turmoil, but really? I thought I had handled it ok. Maybe not. I'd blame it on heredity but neither my mom nor my dad started with their gray hairs until almost 50....even now, my dad's hair is half gray and half brown, but because he has such a head of hair on him, you can see the gray but it's not overpoweing. My mom? well you still have to dig and look through to find her strands. So yeah I think it was brought on by stress I guess. My my, I guess I will have to either make do with it or do highlights again so it won't become a focal point. I'm way too young to have gray hair don't you think?
Granted, I know fost/adopt programs can bring out stress or bring inner turmoil, but really? I thought I had handled it ok. Maybe not. I'd blame it on heredity but neither my mom nor my dad started with their gray hairs until almost 50....even now, my dad's hair is half gray and half brown, but because he has such a head of hair on him, you can see the gray but it's not overpoweing. My mom? well you still have to dig and look through to find her strands. So yeah I think it was brought on by stress I guess. My my, I guess I will have to either make do with it or do highlights again so it won't become a focal point. I'm way too young to have gray hair don't you think?
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