Monday, February 14, 2011

Oh Arizona, it's really not that simple

So in reading blogs and links....I come across this wonderful article from the AZcentral.  Isn't the title awesome "Sending Singles to back of the adoption bus".  Just as the title reads, there is a bill to say that ALL singles should be second behind couples to adopt in both state and private agencies as the following snippet implies:
For example, last week, one of the legislators supporting a bill that would make second-class citizens of single people who want to adopt children couldn't understand why there was any opposition to the proposal.

Single adoptive parent Susan Frank was there when SB1188 was being considered in committee. She has fought this battle before.
Essentially, the bill would direct the Arizona Department of Economic Security, as well as private adoption agencies, to give primary consideration for adoption to married couples, making single people eligible only if a qualified married couple is not available (with a few exceptions).
Frank is a lawyer.
She told me, “One senator said, ‘We're not saying that single people can't adopt.' It was later that it occurred to me – and I'm not at all comparing myself to (civil rights icon) Rosa Parks – but it occurred to me that it would be like telling Rosa Parks, ‘We're not saying you can't ride the bus.'”
The Children's Action Alliance of Arizona agrees with her.
After SB1188 was filed the Alliance, which since 1988 has been looking out for the interests of Arizona kids, issued a statement saying that the bill would “create barriers for special needs children in foster care.”
The system that currently exists in Arizona aims only to put together willing and qualified adults with children who are up for adoption.
Single adoptive parents are among the more willing to take in kids with special needs.
“If the legislature's goal is to get more children with married couples they may achieve that,” Frank said, “But overall there will be fewer kids adopted.”
Treating single people like they're less desirable or qualified isn't exactly the best way to encourage men and women to look into becoming adoptive parents.
According to the Children's Action Alliance, research has shown that single parents who adopt special-needs children have fewer problems than couples.
Now as a single parent myself, I obviously believe in it or I wouldn't have stuck it out in the process, but I'm not going to have a hissy fit over it.  People can disagree with what I did and I'm ok with that, no hard feelings.  What I don't like about this article is the inclusive ALL singles.  Really?  So we won't be looking at the best match for a child now, it will just be a blanket statement without really thinking about it? 

My daughter and I are a good match.  There are some children in this world of foster/adoption that need a good two parent home....some children that *I* as a single parent would not be a good match for.  Yet there are some kids in the world of foster/adoption that *I* as a single parent would be the best match for.  Blanket statements are never good.  It ceases to become about what is the overall good for a child in need and becomes about outward appearances.  It's a shame something like this even got introduced.  After all, I'm honored and humbled to have become acquaintances with single parents that have done an excellent job in parenting their child that has demonstrated RAD (reactive attachment disorder) behaviors and I have seen the difference in them from hard working single parents dedicated to make a child's life better....not because they had to have a child as an accessory.


Nicole said...

Very good post! I think you're right, some couples are not a good "match" for certain children and if this bill comes to action think of all the "bad matches"(for a lack of a better term) that may be made, and how many disruptions that may happen...esp in foster care.

Kelleydiona said...

I have not adopted yet but prayerfully it will happen soon. As a prospective single adoptive mom I am offended that we would be considered 2nd best to a couple. Their is no basis to say that a child will have less or more nurturing in a two parent household than in a single parent home. Great post!