Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Questions that make me go 'gulp' and make me better at the omission piece (um is that a good thing?)...

To be fair, people are just nosey by nature but here are a few scenarios where I've perfected my answers but sometimes still feel guilty because it feels like a 'lie by omission'. 

Stranger:  Oh your daughter is SO adorable!  Look at that hair, where does she get it from?
me: (thinking in my head....uh uh uh uh) It runs in the family
Stranger:  wow....lucky girl
me:  smiles and wanders off 


Stranger:  Wow look at that curly hair....who in your family has curly hair?
me:  (thinking I'm so not in the mood for disclaimers right now)  my father has gorgeous wavy/curly hair
Stranger:  Isn't it funny how some things skip generations
me: yup (while moving away)  have a great day! 

Then there's always the grocery line conversation

Stranger:  She's so pretty, look at those eyes...she's mixed right?
me:  oh thank you, yes she isStranger:  oh my grandson is too and he has the best eyes, I think mixed kids are the prettiest
me:  I'm partial to my kid (winks)
Stranger:  Was she that light when she was born?
me:  (thinking in my head...um not quite sure but what the hell....) yeah
Stranger:  So was my grandson
me:  interesting! 

See, I feel like I"m lying by omission, yet I don't think every Jane, Dick, and Harry need to hear the whole story about adoption and such and I don't feel like making disclaimers either...nothing to do with being secure or ashamed or an adoption educator or wall flower, just sometimes I'm not in the mood.  I guess I can either feel guilty or feel blessed that I live in a community where it's very common to be a) a single mom and b) in interracial relationships. 

And that is my [adoption] world at the moment. 


Ticia said...

Much like I don't feel like explaining to everyone "We don't know if they're identical or not, we don't want to pay for a DNA test, yes they sure do look it."

Anonymous said...

I do the same thing. Ben's complexion is milky, so people just assume since he's with me that he's mixed. Usually when I'm in the grocery store I'm in a big hurry to get out, so I will answer whatever is quickest.

Mie said...

I love it when I have a new foster child - I really do have no idea what the correct answer is to most questions. When it's someone I know (they ask things like ... do they like chicken nuggets?...what time to they go to bed...do they sleep through the night?) I usually tell them something like "I don't know...you know them about as much as I do!". How bout them apples at the grocery store...that'll really floor them. I'm not usually one for leaving someone with a strange look on their face though, so I do my best to answer! At least it makes me chuckle and not mad. I've been joking recently that my 4 kids have 4 different dads...

Laura said...

Just look at them with crazy eyes and say "What baby?" then leave.

Kelly L said...

I get similar ones when out with S. Although it's usually along the lines of "Wow her dad must be really dark." Me--nope he's about as pastey as I am ;) Or my favorite, "She must look just like her Dad." Me--"Not really, she looks just like her other Momma." (insert boggled eyes from stranger.)