Wednesday, December 29, 2010

What happens when love comes at the wrong time?

And thus begins the sentence of one of the worst pieces of news (under wedding celebrations) that I've ever read.

Yes I know this post is not about my family nor is it about adoption.  Heck, I don't even take time to gossip or nay say about things I agree or don't agree with that much.  I try to be level-headed about most things and above all compassionate but this, oh this is just too much for me to handle. So yes this is actually me, DannieA being slightly annoyed [ok maybe more than slightly]

This Wedding Celebration announcement/article should be about two people coming together and getting married, but ugh the more I read the more I want to throw-up a little.  Hmmm we could sing the Brady bunch tune, yet....oh wait, both of them were still married to other people when they met and decided they were soul mates....yeah sanctity of marriage and all that crap. 

It's stories like these that really make me glad I'm single and avoiding the craziness that is happening out there. 

Take this wonderful section about the thoughts going through their heads:
Ms. Riddell said she remembered crying in the shower, asking: “Why am I being punished? Why did someone throw him in my path when I can’t have him?”
In May 2008, Mr. Partilla invited her for a drink at O’Connell’s, a neighborhood bar. She said she knew something was up, because they had never met on their own before.
“I’ve fallen in love with you,” he recalled saying to her. She jumped up, knocking a glass of beer into his lap, and rushed out of the bar. Five minutes later, he said, she returned and told him, “I feel exactly the same way.” Then she left again.
As Mr. Partilla saw it, their options were either to act on their feelings and break up their marriages or to deny their feelings and live dishonestly. “Pain or more pain,” was how he summarized it.
“The part that’s hard for people to believe is we didn’t have an affair,” Ms. Riddell said. “I didn’t want to sneak around and sleep with him on the side. I wanted to get up in the morning and read the paper with him.”
With that goal in mind, they told their spouses. “I did a terrible thing as honorably as I could,” said Mr. Partilla, who moved out of his home, reluctantly leaving his three children. But he returned only days later. Then he boomeranged back and forth for six months.
The pain he had predicted pervaded both of their lives as they faced distraught children and devastated spouses, while the grapevine buzzed and neighbors ostracized them.
“He said, ‘Remind me every day that the kids will be O.K.,’ ” Ms. Riddell recalled. “I would say the kids are going to be great, and we’ll spend the rest of our lives making it so.”
The problem was she could not guarantee that.
All they had were their feelings, which Ms. Riddell described as “unconditional and all-encompassing.”
“I came to realize it wasn’t a punishment, it was a gift,” she said. “But I had to earn it. Were we brave enough to hold hands and jump?”
They did jump. Both officially separated from their spouses by late 2008, though they waited until July 2009 before moving in together.
“I didn’t believe in the word soul mate before, but now I do,” said Mr. Partilla, who is 46 and in January is to become a chief operating officer of Dentsu, a Japanese advertising agency.
Ugh...people, marriage is a vow.  I understand divorce when there is domestic violence/abuse and outright secret adultery going on, but come on....you can decide to forgo or heaven forbid MOVE away if it's that much of a temptation.  After all, nobody said you weren't going to find people attractive or enticing after you married.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas bed fiasco and a wonderful Christmas 2010

Thursday night I had big plans….I had big plans to fill up an air mattress I had so Tigger and I could sleep under the Christmas Tree and wake up to Christmas breakfast and presents….this year since our schedule was a bit different due to Christmas falling on Saturday, the day our family attends church so Christmas Eve was going to be filled with relatives and Christmas Day was going to be at grandma and grandpa’s house so I decided we would treat Thursday night (the 23rd and Friday morning as OUR Christmas).

Well I didn’t have a motorized air pump so as I was getting ready to go buy one, my dad says…oh don’t do that, I have a foot pump and it will get it done….so without thinking, I said “sure”. Well after about an hour and a half of pumping and really starting to feel the muscles in both my legs getting exhausted, I just about had it and decided that I would just be creative to make the bed soft (downstairs is tile and a flimsy area rug so I did need the area where we would sleep to be relatively comfortable and not hard)….so I just threw (both under and over the barely filled air mattress) lots and lots of comfortors, blankets, flannel sheets until it became a make shift bed.   We then did some role playing with our play nativity little people and I dressed Tigger up for fun, nothing formal or anything, I"m not that uptight ha ha!



I’m proud to announce that both Tigger and I had a great night next to the Christmas tree and Tigger thought it was fun!






We then ate breakfast together for the first time at the same time! (that's a Christmas miracle, usually I make sure she eats before I sit down to eat)





Christmas eve brought Santa (yes our family is Christian and we still bring Santa to our kids) to our family gathering, presents, family, and fun.









yes even the lone newly 18 year old had fun!  Actually I have WAY more pictures of family members taking pictures with santa but then there would be way too many pictures ....just the kiddos this time around for your viewing pleasure.

Christmas day brought Church and Sabbath School for Tigger and us….we enjoyed it!






Then Christmas brought a late lunch/early dinner (after Tigger’s nap) and then presents.  Of course this respresents both mine and my parents and a couple from Christmas Eve so half the toys stay at grandma and grandpa's and half go home with us.


It was a very blessed day! Christmas with a little one brings more joy then one can ever imagine!

We hope your Christmas was just as blessed and exciting in it's own way.
With love,
DannieA and Tigger

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Christmas Eve, Eve.....

Well couldn't resist just posting a little bit.  Today Tigger and I are celebrating Christmas Eve and tomorrow morning we'll celebrate Christmas just us.  Christmas Eve this year is going to be full of family and spending the night at Grandma and Grandpa's and church so I figured we would celebrate early just the two of us. 

Well sometimes I think I have way to many ideas for having only a 16 month old.  I got the grand idea of making gingerbread men cookies thinking a 16 month old would totally want to help with everything.  Ha Ha Ha on me.  She did enjoy making the dough.  I had no idea it would be a two day process since we started late yesterday so the dough needed to be in the fridge overnight.  We finished today, but the rolling of the dough and cutting it wasn't Tigger's favorite part, however, she did decorate and she did enjoy eating ONE cookie that I allowed her to eat. 

Even though I found that this activity was mostly on me...(ha!) I hope that maybe someday Tigger will smell cookies and remember the fun times our home tried to have.  One can only hope anyways. 

here they are in order from last night til today.
getting prepped

mixing the dry ingredients

using the mixer.....she is completely engrossed


packing it up for the night in the fridge
getting the utensils ready

cutting out the gingerbread men

mom makes a bigger one

in the oven

mmmmmmm icing

her plate of decorated gingerbread men.....will eat tomorrow and Christmas at Grandma's

ok so I broke my "no sweet" rule and gave my child a cookie

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Twas the Week Before Christmas

.....and all through THIS house....new traditions are being made and followed through,
The dishes are rampant
the cookies are warm
the baby is hyper
and yes she is happy

My vacation has started
I have two weeks with my girl
this means I'll be posting
whenever I can
so throw away my nightly schedule
of posts like I usually do
Until after the new year when all this is through

I can say I don't mind
I love my girl more
and spending time together
is what I adore

It's raining like crazy
and it seems like it will continue
so yes there is Christmas abounding
even the week before

I may post some tidbits
here and there if I'm inspired
but I hope to post more
and see you in 2011
with routine like before


Best wishes and have a great week before Christmas doing what you need to do
Peace!
DannieA and Tigger

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Blogging has been slow this week

As usual this time of the year is hectic with IEPs from my work and now apparently school parties....for the daycare Tigger is in.  Tomorrow is her party and I had to bring fruit suitable for toddlers.  Luckily I got that, I've had two very late days this week and I'm just tired and trying to do Christmas over here so tonight I'll leave you with a Mommy prayer I was thinking all week long....it doesn't come from any of my mommy emergency prayer books...this one is all on me. 

Dear God,

It less than 2 weeks before Christmas.  Please let all the plans go smoothly.  May I get a good outfit for Tigger and myself for Christmas Eve, let me have the energy to wrap presents, let me not forget my fruit bowl for the daycare nor the present for the gift exchange.  May I get the shredding I want to get done over vacation, and may I get caught up on her scrapbook.  May I find the energy to keep up with her and still enjoy my time off from work.  Oh and if those nightly tantrums that happen every night could start diminishing that would be awesome!

Thanks,
DannieA

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

December 15

Ah December 15.  Technically when this blog post comes out, it will be late December 14th, however, since it gets busy during the day, I did want to pay tribute to what December 15th means to me. 

Early December 15th, 2009, I started up my 2-door VW rabbit (an awesome little car) and left my home at 7:30 am.  It was windy and tumbleweeds were flowing.  My heart was pounding.  All of a sudden I had a panic attack as the freeway came to a complete stop...."oh no" an accident on the road, oh please get me through it.  The appt. was at 8am....I was going to be late.  Passing the accident, I raced as fast and as safely as I could towards a house in a quiet neighborhood.  I parked and struggled a bit with the new car seat I just bought a couple days ago.  I was 15 minutes late. 

The door opened and I was welcomed in.  It was the morning I picked up Tigger.  As the wonderful foster mom rounded up her things, I was encouraged to change her and put her in her snuggie.....I panicked briefly as I was still kinda green on changing diapers and I did have that one incident where I couldn't tell which way the diaper went and diapered one of my friend's kids um backwards so you know, a real confidence booster.  Luckily I came out of changing her diaper fine and struggled a bit getting her clothes back on.  What an amateur. 

Needless to say, we survived one year living together....no one is dead, I survived the first few months of endless screaming/crying, a brief trip to the ER due to 'not eating' at the beginning, Tigger survived my "greenness", has learned that I am one wacky mom, and we are doing ok.  We endured Termination of Parental Rights, Appeal period, a paperwork glitch, and finally finalization.  I feel more confident, she is demonstrating being an attached child....I still have no idea what I'm doing sometimes and that's ok.  Neither do the rest of you! 

I thank God that he has seen fit to allow me a great responsibility.  I thank God that I am a mom.  I thank God for my daughter, she is a wonderful, complex,  and charming human being.  I can't wait to see what the years bring and how she grows and blossoms.  One thing adoption does is that it keeps me honest.  It helps me see that children are not just "yours" but ultimately they are children of God.  With that in mind, I chose this next weekend...after the 1 year anniversary to have the child dedication at my church.  It will also be a reminder that I am not in control.  I do not "own" Tigger, but have been blessed to have been chosen to raise her to the best of my ability with God's help. 

December 15 is a great and memorable day.

December 15, 2009

Priceless expressions


Wonderful foster mom


I did it, I actually was able to buckle her in!


Home sleeping in her swing, me taking pictures and wondering what to do


Grandpa telling it like it is!


Grandma is ecstatic!

December 15, 2010 (well pictures taken the night before)

Not bad considering I took it with my other hand!


Tigger and her favorite doll she alternates between hugging and kissing and throwing her around


Being a big girl and brushing her teeth in her own bathroom

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Weekend Review

Ah it's Sunday night where I start my blogging week all over again.  I confess it's a bit later than my usual time to upload a new blog post, however, I decided that I wanted to watch one of "my" Christmas movies in the dark with only the lights from the Christmas Tree on so I did just that.  I am now done and decided to do a little weekend review.

Saturday:

Wonderful, wonderful, and more wonderful.  Saturday is the day we go to church and it was the day of our Church's Christmas Pageant.  Every children's class and some people from church participated, including children's choir, men's chorus, women's chorus, adult choir, church choir, and teens from the nearby church academy choir....wow looking at all that, we have a bunch of choirs LOL.  Tigger's birth-2y/o class went on the platform with their lamb ears and basically just sat or crawled on the platform during the performance of "Away in the Manger" and "Silent Night"....some of the older kiddos got a word here and there, but it was mostly cuteness (while us moms sang) so that was my "mom" moment of church.  It had so much music and fanfare that when it was time for the sermon, the pastor decided that we had been blessed and postponed his sermon for next week and thus we concluded the church hour by singing to Handel's "Hallelujah Chorus" from the Messiah.  Then the Children's classes were interactive and Tigger got to pet some "Bethlehem" animals, travel to different stations before ending the day...I have to say it was a great program and it reinforced the fact I am happy with my recent decision to switch memberships to this church.  The kids programs are really fantastic and I've gotten to know some people as well. 

Later that evening, I bundled Tigger and my parents and I went to one of the neighborhoods in another city that really go all out with their lights and we walked the streets looking at Christmas lights.  It was crowded, the streets were closed and it was fun as well.  Tigger was sporting her Santa PJ's along with her Santa hat and bundled up in a blanket.  I think she was warmer than the rest of us. 

Saturday night ended with hot chocolate and a viewing of that timeless Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life"

Sunday:

While Tigger's room had been finished, her bathroom was not, so my mother came over this afternoon and we finished Tigger's bathroom and it looks adorable.  If you remember, Tigger's room is pink and brown with wall applications consisting of butterflies and flowers.  We made her bathroom green/brown/pink with frogs and butterflies....the contrast is great.  Plus the added bonus is that it looks like when she kisses the frog she'll end up with a prince so while the room and bathroom have different themes, they actually ended up going well together. 

Sunday night ended with the viewing of one of my favorite movies to watch during December "Little Women" (the new version) in the dark by the glowing Christmas Tree.  Love that movie.  I tend to identify with Jo (Josephine March) yet I think my personality is a mix of Jo and Beth so there ya go yikes!  Wonderful end to a great weekend. 

           Waiting and Walking towards the animals


‎"Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?" ~It's a Wonderful Life~
 
"The world should always be a better place because a man lived" ~Little Lord Fauntlery (1980 version)~