Friday, October 22, 2010

Why I don't make sense to people

Yes you read that title correctly.  Sometimes people don't know what to make of me.  I guess for some people I'm full of contradictions.  Case in point.  When you see the list of blogs I read or have read, you'll notice some of the writers are more conservative with their topics and some other are way out to the other end.  Some are Christian and some are not.  You may ask why I don't just "hang" with like-minded people...the answer is I am a "middle of the road" person.  I am a for all intents and purposes 'moderate' in my thinking, opinions, and yes religious beliefs.  This confuses people, because sometimes they want you to identify in only one way....and try as I might I'm never hard-core one way or the other. 

Adoption:  Oh my, I never thought there was so much in the world of adoption.  It's a whole other have international, domestic, foster care, private and there are terminologies and thought patterns for adoption, semi-open, closed, culture camps, foster care reform, birth parent rights, adoptive parent rights, children's rights, how open should you be, what is age appropriate information, trans racial adoption, how to be or how not to be a parent to a child of a different race, special needs, RAD, attachment parenting...what should one do or not do....and on and on and on. 

As if we didn't have enough "normal" parenting worries, we also have to take cut and dry sides on any variety of issues?  Lord have mercy.  Lord help us.  I've come to the conclusion that even in adoption, I still don't subscribe to one extreme or the other other in any given topic...and while it may be the new research or the new thing or what not, I've come to peace with the fact that I learn from the past in adoption and I am competent to make decisions I feel are appropriate for my daughter without making it an extreme. 

PoliticsHa ha ha, that's a good one.  In this day and age of our politics I think it's safe to say that most people are not true Democrats or Republicans in thought patterns but will most likely just pick a "team" that they can identify with in a few issues.  This is where I catch the most slack because my personal preference is to vote more liberal state wise and more conservative nation wise.  Yes there goes that contradiction again....very strong.  This year's election in CA is just a hot one.  I'll be glad when it's over but my goodness...I may have conservative leanings in some aspects, but I also hate being vilified as the "evil" public school really gets old.  If it were just my job and people not liking what I do, I wouldn't really care, but when it trickles down to MY students?  well I get all mama bearish about while people may have their passion issues like abortion, health care, social services, gay marriage/domestic partnership benefits, parent rights, yup you guess it, my passion has always been and will always be education, especially education in Title 1 schools....mostly because the children I work with have so much more to deal with than just going to school.  What some people need to realize is that a parent that cares....doesn't matter if rich or poor will advocate for their child, do charter school lotteries until they get in, work 3 jobs to get them into private school, apply for scholarships to get into a private school....I will continue to advocate and speak for my forgotten children, the ones that don't have anyone to speak for them and who truly are forgotten in the midst of talking about whether unions are evil, whether or not charter schools should be more available, how we should grade teachers and on an A-F system (which will truly attract teachers to teach in Title 1 schools by the way [sarcasm dripping])

So yes, my own belief system is mainly conservative, however I can't just subscribe to one party or the other...which irritates many people. 

Religion:  Ah this is a fun one.....I belong very happily to my denomination.  If I did not believe in some of our doctrines I wouldn't be here.  That does not mean that it's an all or nothing belief system.  Don't get me wrong, as a Christian there are certain beliefs that are all or nothing.  Belief in Jesus Christ is one of them.  Belief in heaven and well whatever form of lost you believe in (hell or final annihilation).  It's the nitty gritty that I don't get too stuck on....why?  because kindness and treating people with respect even if you don't think they are "religious" enough is more important to me than following all of my church's rules.  Again this makes for a lonely life sometimes as you have people on one legalism extreme and others wanting you to be completely open-minded to the point of ridiculousness.  (e.g. before I started this adoption journey, one guy I dated thought it was great I was an active member of the church, he loved that, he loved that I wasn't "legalistic" and then wanted to know when we were going to move in together or at least start sleeping with each really people? really? again I state just because I have some different beliefs and may not be the most conservative thinker you think everything is fair game and I don't hold some things as important??? oh my)

When I look at my circle of close friends, it is a small bunch.  Not because I don't like people, I really do, but because this moderate life view I take confuses people.  I write this not as a complaint but as a spring board of how to go about parenting.  It seems as though it would make the most sense to be more one way minded as it will mean Tigger will "fit in " better with like-minded people, but I don't know how to commit to that....I also know how lonely it is to not be committed one way or the other on issues or areas in life....instead carving out a very interesting belief system.  It is something I never thought about before becoming a parent.  What is good for me may not be good for my daughter, which is why I probably switched my membership to another church we've been attending to for a year (same denomination) that is more conservative than the church I was attending which was more open and people were always having differences of opinions which is awesome in my book but not so awesome when raising a child...she can choose her own way of loving her belief system when she's older. 

Thoughts to ponder....and maybe with these thoughts I also further the point as to why I don't make sense to people.

1 comment:

LA Mama said...

I think you're right in pointing out that being a moderate means you sometimes just don't "fit" anywhere. I think I keep people guessing too. Sometimes it's lonely, but most of the time it's fun. :)