Friday, June 24, 2011

(Adult) Milestones and Maturity

I was a very imaginative child growing up.  I had no brothers or sisters so my room was mine and my stuffed animals were my very own for church/school/house playing purposes.  I baptized many stuffed animals, I played concerts for my "friends" and the animals were family members playing house or the casualties when I played with my matchbox cars. 
I also had these visions of what I would feel when I achieved certain goals.  I would feel grown up when I graduated, I would marry and be mature, I would be the cool mom who didn't forget anything and did everything.  I would sometimes convince myself I would never act "old" and then I would sometimes say that I would act my age with dignity. 

Well then life happens.  Graduating from high school was just fun!  We were 17/18 years of age, we were just excited to march.  Then graduation from college happened.  When I walked on the stage to receive my diploma, there was no "magical" moment, no opening from the heavens with an angelic choir singing "hummmm" or short, I didn't feel all that different.  Graduating from Graduate school was a happy event, I was really tired and exhausted from working full time and attending school full time for 2 straight years (had to work during that summer in between as an intern at a hospital/outpatient setting from 8-5pm for 10 no break between years) and so if I would have had skates on, I would have rolled with happiness down that aisle....but I didn't feel all that different, just relieved. 

Turning 30 was fun and it has been my best year to date, however, I didn't "feel" 30......well what is 30 supposed to feel like?  Nothing really "changed" me, yet I keep getting older and thinking, when is that magical maturity going to set in? 

Never married so don't know if that would have done the trick, but now in parenting there are some changes I can see.  I don't go to bed past midnight, I have to make sure I have 3 good meals for Tigger plus snacks...every day....she is not a bachelorette nor a college student that skips meals or eats Top Ramen Noodles to save on cash.  She needs stuff.(diapers, milk, food, consistency, sleep) and whether or not I feel a magical maturity or not, I have to deliver. 

Is this the magic maturing that I always envisioned happening?  maybe....maybe not.  However, as I get older, I see that certain things do define us even if there isn't a voice coming down from Heaven or a magical feeling.  In these subtleties, it is up to us to rise to the challenge.  And do I act my age?  well maybe, but more often than not.....not really.  The important thing is to be content and do what needs to be done for whatever stage of life one happens to be in. 

These have been random thoughts by yours truly.  Have a great day!

1 comment:

Heather D said...

Nice post. I often think the same thing, when exactly will I feel grown up? There are days I really don't, and then other days I realize how old I am and think how much more I should have done! Having a child though, does make me feel like I'm mature, sometimes :)