So this thing has hit the blogging circuit too? By request...

I didn't realize that sometimes these posts with tagging appear on blogs as well.  Well thank you to a complete and total  kick-butt Jellybean mama, a choice mom,  for the tag. 

Rule #1: The tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.


Rule #2: Tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (OK, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tagee must state who tagged them.

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family?
While Daisy did fall into the Queen category before Tigger came along, she is now more dog than human....sorry Daisy, the little person gets all the trinkets that I used to spend on you.  Of course my spoiled 'Beverly Hills' (OMG love that movie with Jamie Lee Curtis) Chihuahua is part of the family.  We both love her...she loves me, she loves Tigger now, but keeps a very safe distance, as Chi's are not fans of toddlers. 
2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
4 kids, the discipline to make as much money being a SAHM for a few years until the Tigger is in school....I know some people can work for themselves from home and stay with their kids and they are single....I'm just not that disciplined. 
3. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Go to Maine every summer and rent out a beach house/bungalow....rent out a cabin in the mountains during the winter and go on weekends there is snow up there.  (I'm happy with simple) Have savings for my child, college fund, leave the rest to her.  Instead of living in a townhouse, I'd love a simple 3 bedroom small house (I hate cleaning people, simple is better) with a lovely spacious backyard so that the parties can be at my house where I KNOW I'll be supervising. 
4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Reese's peanut butter cups, pizza and a movie, friends, dancing a jig with the Tiggers!  Usually that pulls us both out of a funk.
5. What is your bedtime routine?
Watch TV after the Tigger goes to bed at 7:30pm, write my blog post, surf online, read, sleep by 11pm at the latest.
6. Name something that has surprised you this week about motherhood.
That you really do have to have patience and you have to teach and reinforce rules more than a few times.  I honestly thought that if one was consistent that after a few times it would be ingrained.....still reeling from a plate of spaghetti thrown in my general direction after the Tigger melted down in frustration....Mondays I tell ya.
7. What kind of books do you read?
ha ha ha....well when I read now, it has to do with discipline, working with your child's sensitive personality, spirited, stubborn children....however, I used to love crime novels....I would read true crime books...law enforcement/FBI really intrigues me. 
8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?
Living in a 3 bedroom single family home (there's that 3 bedroom house thing again), with a tweener...oh my, 10 years closer to retirement.
9. What’s your fear?
Dying before Tigger is an adult, losing Tigger before I have a chance to die, making too many parental mistakes (not the stupid everyday mistakes....the big ones)

10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?
I can't see giving up peanut butter cups just for that. 
11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
I stumble downstairs to fill Tigger's sippy cup with milk, and go give it to her while I get ready for work.  This allows ample time for Tigger to get used to the idea that we need to get up, she cannot be rushed into getting dressed. 
12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be? Or, if you’re single - if you could choose a significant other who looked like anyone in the world, who would it be?
my first pick would be David Duchovny as he was in the 90s....oh X-files I miss thee. I also wouldn't mind Joshua Jackson....oh Fringe, I love thee.
13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
I love my name.  It's just less common which is why I use my nickname instead for the fake assurance of privacy.
14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?
SUN.  I'm a lizard.  I love heat.  I was happy it made it to 90 degrees today.  (of course it helps I live in a place with limited humidity). 
15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
Quesadillas....love them.
16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?
I've been able to connect with more choice moms....they are all really cool and very different from each other [including me] and all become mothers differently.  I also have connected with a lot of people involved in the adoption world....adoptive parents, adoptees, and birthparents.  All stories are special and unique. 
17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?
Reese's peanut butter cups all the way!
18. What items are in your purse right now?
Wallet, keys (both work and home), chapstick, diaper, desitin, change of clothes for a 19 month old, floss, cell phone, bag of cheerios, granola bar, ipod shuffle
19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?
BEACH.....HELLO!  Tigger and I have our "spot"....and by the beach, the tide pools have been very educational...(we accidentally dropped a hermit crab into a sea anemone and watched a very sad fate....oops)
20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn't?
The way Law & Order has gone into the grimy stuff, probably shouldn't watch that, however, I think it kicks serious butt that Jellybean mama also watches this!  Detroit 1-8-7, basically I'm addicted to crime procedural dramas, and Fringe. 

But now I get to tag so would love to hear from:

Barb

grace kay

Kelleydiona

La Mama Loca

Just people I'd love to know more about even if it is just fluff questions :). 

Tuesday Truisms--because nothing says life like your own musings!

Bits and pieces of random musings from my brain since the last week:

"Foggy mornings always make a crime scene more ominous" (there was a fatality in an ATM and I saw the police and yellow tape one foggy morning on the way to daycare....eerie)

"Don't care about coming to your child's IEP, don't worry, if I'm the Speech Therapist at your school, I will find you and I will come to your house and talk to you about your child...don't think you'll get away with not caring"

"Monday evenings are never good...accept it as a fact of life"

"when a toddler giggles and you can't find your cell phone, that's probably not good news"

"when in doubt, just pretend you know it all with an air of authority"  (works really well at my job ha!)

"when in doubt, if you just shrug your shoulders and say 'that's a good question' with an air of authority, you get even more oohs and aahs"

"grass is not always your friend"

The Cradle Roll Post!

Sunday was the quarterly overhaul of the Cradle Roll Room. What is the ‘Cradle Roll Room’? Well if you are at all familiar with the Seventh-Day Adventist Church, basically the cradle roll room is the Sabbath School room for the children birth to 2 years of age.


I love the fact that our church does not have nurseries for children and that children hang out with us during church (sometimes that could be a double-edged sword but I like not being separated from my child). This also means that Sabbath School for the little ones (basically the same thing as Sunday School) usually is packed with parents and the little ones that are age appropriate for the room.

In the church I attend, the Sabbath School teachers and piano players are volunteers and mostly the parents. As you probably have guessed, I’m one of the teachers for Tigger’s cradle roll classroom. Every quarter the theme changes and so do the props. A few parents get together and we overhaul the room and decorate it again to represent the overall theme for the quarter. A quarter represents 13 weeks. So our kids are really familiar with the songs and program by the time we are through.

It’s a riot to see the babies enjoy their Sabbath School. They get to have a basket of different toys/objects that have to do with the songs and sometimes they get to put felts up on the board and do interactive motions as well.

Parent’s social hour is basically after Sabbath School as well. This is the way we make friends and talk about parenting issues and/or get to know each other better while our kids run around and play in the room after it’s over. I find that most of the participants in the cradle roll room attend the first church service at 9am and then come to Sabbath School because it works so much better for the younger kids. Some though, still do it the traditional way of coming to Sabbath School first and then church. Either way, it’s still a nice atmosphere for the kids and parents of kids.

It has been said there is a big absence of adults participating in Sabbath School for their own age group due to the fact that most accompany their children to theirs and/or are active leaders in their child’s class. Who can resist….would you want to be with “people your own age” when you can participate in this cuteness????

(5 months old)

(Next to cousins R & S banging some music sticks)

("I like to go to the farm where the cows moo moo")

(Sailing on a boat....yeah well we gotta do what we can with the props we have)

(I'm leading....love how the kids have their backs to me for story time...)

(Animals from the 'Heaven' curriculum)

(yes it's my Tigger getting older...yikes where has time gone)

I'm tired and a bit annoyed

Wrote a cute blog post with pictures and when I posted, the pictures didn't come up.  I tried again and again and again and still the same problem.  Well since I'm now really annoyed at my wasted time tonight, I am going to bed. 

Has anyone had this problem before?  If so is there some explanation?

Review on a Thursday

I've briefly touched on some of the books I've taken up reading way back when I started my blog.  I thought it would be neat if I gave my own review about what I liked and maybe not liked about certain books. 

Tonight's book review is "In their own voices: Transracial adoptees tell their stories".  This book is a compilation of individual interviews with many biracial and black adoptees that grew up in Caucasian families.  Most of them were adopted in the early 70s through the early 80s. 

The title of the book says it all.  The different chapters each highlight a different individual answering questions that were asked throughout the interview process.  Each interview took between two to four hours and the answers are laid out just how they answered. 

As in anything, everyone has a different story, a different take, a different way in which transracial adoption affected them, and each have different feelings towards their family.  I find these types of books particularly fascinating because I love reading about different perspectives. 

I'll be honest, some chapters made me uneasy, some chapters I was relieved that there remained a close family bond, and other chapters made me wonder if I'm raising my daughter right.  (Right now she's just a toddler so everything is 'easy' at the present moment)

Why read this book?  Well if you read my blog and are a transracial family, it's a great book for seeing what a child may have to go through if they are not of the same racial background.  I'm a little more aware of what may or may not be important to my daughter in the future.  I have no doubt that it will foster some questions as to how one will deal with certain situations if it came up for your family. 

Overall I give this book an enthusiastic approval rating based on the way I devoured it!

Obedience by Paparazzi

So this morning after Tigger's milk and my traditional 20 minutes to get ready.  I go into Tigger's room and start singing, and letting her know it's time to get up.  This morning she went into the back corner and curled into a ball.  Trying to be chipper and get her up and smiling, I said

"Tigger time to get dressed" 

I hear a voice go "mami, NO"

Let me explain something about this crib I have for Tigger.  It is not a drop down and the front is lower than the back, so I have no idea how she learned that if she goes into a back corner, with my short stature, I can't really pick her up, but well she knows this trick now.....so feeling a little tired and starting to get a little irked, I wondered how to get her up and willing to get dressed....

out of nowhere an idea hit me (must have been induced by being half asleep myself).  She loves the camera, so I went and got my trusty camera and said

"oh mommy is taking pictures of you saying 'NO'"

Well the egocentrism that has taken over young children since the moment they understand their existence kicked in and once she heard the camera come on, it was a mad dash to get up and go to the front.

(she had started to get up, so didn't quite make the corner shot)

(here I come, I love the camera)

So then of course she gets to the edge and I swear she did her side glance to show all of her cuteness and said "cheese" and this is the final product.

(I'm so freaking cute and I want to show it off!)

So I guess the morale of the story is that when my child is not obeying, I need to play Paparazzi and then the rest of the morning will go smoothly.  Gah, my daughter...what are the tween and teen years going to do to me? I did not teach her how to be photogenic or how to be a ham!

Tuesday Truisms

Just for fun these are some of my musings.  All statements are my own.  Enjoy!

"Never put an angry child in the bath, it may cause spontaneous baptism by immersion"

"Try with all your might to let your frustration over tantrums go right before bedtime and magically you will feel like all is right in the world again"


"Sometimes memorizing quotes and proverbs become calming mantras in times of complete meltdowns"


"Nothing warms your heart more than after a long day at work, coming into the daycare room and hearing a familiar patter of feet running happily in your direction"


"when all else fails, do a silly dance like it's going out of style, 9 times out of 10 it makes the situation laughable"


"quoting 'this too shall pass' will get you through many days"


"blow bubbles often"

Finalizing BEFORE an appeal is heard and decided?

Image by onecle via Flickr

Sounds like something that would never be done right?  um WRONG.  Imagine my surprise this morning reading about this here:

In two Washington state cases last year, higher courts overturned decisions to terminate parents’ rights, but the children had already been adopted by other families.


“We are victims, as are birth parents, as are the children,” said Jill Mailloux, of Richland, who with her husband, Jim, adopted two brothers, ages 5 and 7, in February 2010.

Seven months later, the boys’ biological mother, who is from Snohomish County, successfully argued in Court of Appeals Division I that her rights to her sons should never have been taken away.
“The social worker said, ‘Yes, there is an appeal, but they never get granted, don’t worry about it,” Mailloux recounted.

In a separate case in June, the state Supreme Court overturned the 2006 termination of a father’s right to his 10-year-old daughter, who was adopted more than four years ago.
Both cases have resulted in a legal morass likely to result in the children being taken away from their adoptive families.

I will be the first to admit that I'm not one to be altruistic most of the time.  While I was waiting for the hearing that ultimately terminated the parental rights of Tigger's biological parents, and the excruciating wait throughout the appeal period window, all I could think of was wanting everything to be over and not to worry about that anymore.  But, the process is there for a reason.  Terminating parental rights (as opposed to parents relinquishing) is a very very grave and permanent order.  The basis for that should be documented well and ALL chances given to the biological parents to work a case plan or show that they are working on being appropriate parents by themselves (if a child is #6 in a long line of children in which parents received caseplans) and that when available, suitable relatives are found before others.  If an appeal is filed, then yes we as licensed foster parents have to wait it out and see the outcome before finalization.  Even in the long time between termination of parental rights on Tigger's biological parents and finalization, I recognize, that I can't have it any other way or rush the process because it wouldn't be right and I would always wonder.  Further in the article it says:

In several other cases, the state Supreme Court declined to review parental terminations after the children in those cases were adopted while their parents appealed

The only reason they declined to hear the appeal was due to the children already being adopted?  That just has to be wrong.  I'm hoping that laws change so the proper order of events happen before a family is allowed to finalize an adoption.  We need to make sure every decision is made in a way that is above reproach. 



.

Attachment 'things' I hang onto longer than most

Image via Wikipedia

In one of my magazines I received in the mail from Adoptive Families a couple of weeks ago (I guess they forgot to renew my subscription and so I got the last 2 issues at once...but I digress) there was an article about the first year at home.  Attachment was high on the list of what to be working on and as I read the list and questions most people have with babies/infants/toddlers in general, I'm happy to see that most of my instincts this past year were appropriate for Tigger and myself. 

On tackling topics of Security during the night:

Most people are anxious to get children into their own rooms quickly and try to get the little ones to sleep thought the night. 

*Well duh!  That is always the main goal, but in adoption particularly when adopting older infants and toddlers vs. newborns, this thought really should be thrown out the window.  In securing attachments with our new members of the family, they might not know that we are going to take care of them.  In fact, instead of not responding to every cry, in my opinion, NOW is the time to respond to EVERY sound that comes out of their lips.  Why?  Because they need to know that we will fulfill their needs, their wants (appropriately of course), and are safe individuals that they can love.  I personally kept Tigger's crib in my room next to my bed for a whole year from when she came at 4 and 1/2 months (Dec. 09) old til I actually did her room (Dec.'10) when the adoption was finalized.  Let's be honest, she spent most of the time in my bed for a while during those 11-14 months of age but that was fine.  She slept better and so did I.  Now she is happy to fall asleep in her crib at night in her beautifully decorated room, but if she needs to, she knows she can cry and I'll be there to soothe her and take her into my bed if need be.  (I think she has been having dreams lately, so I understand the need for security). 

I'm sure people would cluck their tongues with disapproval and to that I say, "my main purpose is attachment, after all she won't be attaching to YOU now will she?" 

In regards to the hot topic of bottle feeding:

*This new pediatrician I have stated that by 18 months all kids need to be off the bottle.  I say wow, ALL kids?  Maybe you haven't heard but toddlers adopted around 18 months of age will regress to an emotional age of infancy.  Going back to bottle feeding and rocking them to meet them at their emotional needs is probably one of the BEST things you can do for your new member of the family.  The pediatrician I had for Tigger before her adoption was finalized had seen many foster children and understood adoption issues.  Unfortunately when I had to change her Doctor due to the shift in her being added to my insurance, I didn't do my homework at the beginning and got a pediatrician that obviously doesn't understand adoption issues and makes exception to that.  One of my biggest mistakes was not doing that initial homework because I assumed every pediatrician was going to be as lovely as her first.  I am now researching within my network to find a better fit.  Tigger still holds on to the final bottle of milk before bedtime.  It's her bottle while I read to her, while I sing to her, while she gets all cozy snuggled up to me.  I am very fortunate that my cultural side (Hispanic) on this issue actually made it easier to not even think twice about this. 

And for those of you who silently wonder, yes I brush her teeth right after this bottle.  

On the boring topic of Keeping your world small and boring:

*Most family members love to see new children added to family.  Maybe they are used to other kids romping around family events until 10pm, 11pm, even midnight.  So of course there is the capacity for hurt feelings when suddenly you aren't around as much and definitely don't attend evening family events.  Children and even infants have suffered a great loss before coming to their adoptive home.  They need to know that they are secure in their new and final home.  Keeping a tight schedule (and for us that meant a strict 6:45pm bedtime) really made a difference in Tigger being able to function and become a happy child in my home.  It's only recently that she's been ok visiting other relatives at their home, doing more unscheduled activities, and last but not least, going to bed at 7:30pm.  It was in some sense a lonely and boring year, but it's exciting to see the good that it has done to us as a family. 

If you are thinking about adopting and believe that some things (rocking, bottle feeding, feeding kids in general, co-sleeping or sleeping in the same room, child wearing, small circle/small world) are things that you know may need to be done, please don't let anyone else deter you from making those decisions that you will deem important for attachment and bonding.  Don't let anyone tell you that your child needs to learn "independence".  For goodness sakes, they probably are the experts in survival and independence, what they need to learn is dependence....dependence on YOU, their parent. 

"Once"

Warning:  This post is just fluff!

I normally don't promote movies to the broad scope of people because every family has it's own guidelines for what they like to watch or what they think it's appropriate to watch.  I know for me, I grew up with limited television and rated G movies/cartoons. 

When I was older (when I mean older I mean 18 or 19) I really got into crime dramas.  My mom wasn't too thrilled but wasn't exactly surprised given that I would always buy the darkest crime novels that I could in the Christian bookstore in the fiction department....of course if she would protest, I would just come back with "we are in the Christian bookstore so these books are under the umbrella of acceptable books to read".  While I dabbled in some of the more modern horror flicks away at college....I could only do so if I was hanging on to my friend (um that would be you T) and we would have to sleep in the same room in our college apartment complex with doors locked.  I can't stand too much of that.  Even now, I don't get too drastic with my movie choices but definately have my favorites.  Some more worthy of others. 

However did feel like sharing one of my cute favorite movies.  It's an odd choice.  One of those random films (non-blockbuster) that draw in small audiences.  I love the movie because it focuses on a snippet of time for two individuals with relationship baggage and a quick friendship that develops through music.  However, since this film isn't a mainstream film, in fact I think it's an Irish film to be exact, the plot and the ending certainly aren't what we are used to seeing in movie entertainment.  Because of this is why I like it.  It may not have been the ending we hoped for, but in reality, it was the 'right' ending even though it may not seem to be.  Great film, I own it and I watch it when I'm in the mood to not be bombarded by the usual movie/TV fast paced drama.  It's like a musical without it being a cheesy musical (and hey I love me some cheesy musicals...I bust out in 'Sound of Music' and 'Oklahoma' quite a bit) because hey, it's about two people that love music in their own way. 

In case you haven't figured it out yet, the movie is called "Once".  For those of you more cautios about content, it does have some language in it and thus the higher rating along with the movie, although I've noticed that most movies from other countries tend to have this too so there ya go...full disclosure!  Here's a snippet of the film, if you feel so inclined I'll be the first to say, I really really like this one! 

Happy St. Patrick's Day

It's a fun little day.  Sea of green around you!  Silly necklaces and if you know me, I also like the silly antennas that you turn on and they blink.  I should have taken a picture....what was I thinking! 

Well even though I don't go out to drink green beer or chug down an Irish car bomb (these are drinks people) we did have some fun with the clothing. 

I dressed Tigger up modestly today.  Not in overpowering green clothes but in a white t-shirt with a St. Patrick's Day theme.  She looked sharp. 

I also had fun tonight....made regular spaghetti for dinner and while she will have a little bit of a mess with mac'n'cheese or pasta bows/macaroni elbows etc......this is the first day I fed her regular spaghetti.  She loved it as well....my floor, the wall, and her face didn't but what can you do, they have to eat spaghetti sometime!

(you'll have to excuse her hair, she was done with her pigtails and decided to take them off and start chewing them causing amounts of panic from me since everything I look at is a choking hazard)

Well for my awesome group of online friends here, thanks so much for letting me into your world with your comments and blogs.  I have a fun time reading your comments as well as reading yours!  May you have a wonderful weekend!

Baby Vanessa

I've been vaguely following the story of "Baby Vanessa" as it's a California story first of all, and because I'm always curious as to how these situations play out and what factors were at play that made this situation become big court battles in the first place. 

Anyways if you've been following the story or wonder what I read about, here is the outcome!
Read here and here and finally here for three different write ups.  I have many thoughts about this case, but they are jumbled so am not sure if I can accurately write my jumbled thoughts into a coherent post right now.  I think I will instead write a post about the different issues that this case definitely brought and post at a later date. 

Single Mothers by Choice

When I first heard this phrase (after I decided to adopt on my own) I would giggle uncontrollably because it just sounded so politically based.  However, I really do fit the description.  Have you ever heard of the term?  If not, there are some great places to read about it. 

Why mention that you're a single mother by choice or why have site to support independent, financially responsible women who seem to be content with their life?  Well that's just it...because we're not dealing with divorce, custody issues, visitation, alimony etc.  most of the self-help books on single parenting just doesn't really seem to address issues that don't involve grief,  loss of a boyfriend/spouse, self-esteem.  In fact in order to belong to a community like Choicemoms.org you do have to be a parent by choice, not because your significant other left you before the birth but still has visitation, or through divorce or death (if you have previously been divorced and then decided to parent a child on your own that's different).  Of course these communities also look at women who have done and are also considering artificial insemination or IVF through a sperm donor (either known or unknown) as well as adoption.

I've joked about getting together with other single mother's by choice who have Faith in their lives to write a book about it just so it can be available at a Christian bookstore if needed because in my life, I don't need the "woe is me" single parenting book or the "how to get over him leaving me with 2 kids for another woman" single parenting book.  In fact I've spent a few bucks too many on books I thought were going to be great and instead it ended up being a self-help book for divorcees and parenting from a place of grief.  I need the practical single parenting book.  You know the one.  It answers very very important questions such as:

* When is the best time to shower and know your kid is safe?
* How do you finagle groceries into the house when your Toddler is now getting into trouble if your eye isn't on them?  Is it ok to have them in their car seat while you race like a maniac to get the bags in before getting a ticket for bad parenting?
*How do you answer people about the wonderful life you have with your child when for some reason they find it odd that you enjoy being a single parent?
*How do you navigate being really sick and also having to look out for an active preschooler when you're either throwing up or trying not to pass out?
*What are great tips for evolving your support system?
*Answering questions at church and navigating feeling good about your life when people may wonder why on earth would you [as a Christian] would choose to have a single parent household and be chipper about it.

Those are the kind of books needed out there.  Actually I know there are at least two books that deal with single mothers by choice which is great, however, they are more generic and deal with the the 'thinking' and 'how to...information' than daily life. 

So if you're one of those single mothers by choice that reads on here and are living faith based lives, we should seriously think about writing that book!

MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes friends, this is the new and trendy word around the house.  Needless to say, I find it quite trying on my nerves.  Maybe because I know Tigger has either the single words she needs to request for toys or wants or she has the ability to approximate/imitate if I model it for her. 

Either way, she's now focused on pointing and saying 'MINE" really loudly as if the whole world belongs to her (sigh)  Gotta love these egocentric years! 

This morning she got into the baby wipes and I kid you not, I had to carry her to the car while she was holding a wipe because for some reason she was obsessed with it, told me "mami, MINE" and well I didn't think a wipe was that big of a deal.  Once we had to let go of it when we got to her daycare though, it was as if the world was coming to an end. 

Honey!  It's a baby wipe, it's for your butt!  Trust me, it will be ok......to which I hear within the *sniff* *sniff*,  MINE MINE MINE *sniff* *sniff*. 

"I'm sorry baby, we need to go to school now"

"sniff...mine"

"have fun at school"

"sniff.....mine" 

"bye bye Tigger" (kiss)

"Mami, bye bye...my Mami"  (smiles and a wave and hug) 

oh that 180 degree shift in mood is also pretty awesome!

And so it begins....everything is "MINE"

Change is Hard!

This past weekend was the ever dreaded Daylight Savings Time.  Spring forward or some such nonsense.  I really don't get why we do this, other than to send our children into confusion and adults into crabby beings for a few days. 

I figured this would be a good time to see if Tigger would start stretching out until 7:30 or 8:00 pm for her bedtime.  Well of course Sunday it did work out since at 8pm she obviously thought it was still 7pm.  Tonight however, it was chaos....we ended up staying til 7:30pm, but I'm not sure if she's ready for that half hour change.  I thought she would be, but I may be wrong. 

Looking ahead, I think she would enjoy Vacation Bible School this summer at our church, but usually the hours are 6-8pm and so ultimately was trying to get her used to evening hours before going into total meltdown.  We'll see what happens.  She is a child that needs her sleep, so it could just be that she is not ready to be stretched and maybe this grand change I had envisioned will not come to pass. 



(yeah I need to get more room going in my camera memory card again, but this is how she is now!)

Angels among us!

I know that there are good foster homes and bad foster homes.  Tigger was not in the best foster home for her first placement and was moved to her second foster home before coming home with me.  Her second foster home however, was truly awesome.  I remember meeting the foster mom for the first time with my adoption worker and I just thought she was an awesome person.  Her home was/is categorized as a shelter home or most commonly known as emergency homes.  They are the homes that get children placed at all hours of the day AND night and their placements tend to be shorter before moving to a foster-to-adopt home (such as my home) or to another foster home for a longer duration. 

While foster-to-adopt homes also accept children that may ultimately end up back with family or other relatives (this journey is truly an emotional roller coaster), there is always that high chance of finalizing an adoption.  Foster homes on the other hand deal with their placements leaving.  I cannot imagine doing that work/mothering long term.  It must be hard on the emotions! 

I know when Tigger was placed, foster mom had to tell her teenage daughter and she was devastated.  Tigger was well loved and cherished in this household even in the short time that she was living there.  I truly think that shelter homes and strictly foster homes are filled with Angels on earth.  People who unselfishly care for a child no matter how long or short their stay will be and routinely get their hearts broken as they love their [foster] children fiercely for their season of stay. 

I think this is the main reason I keep in touch with Tigger's last foster mom via e-mail and facebook.  I send her updated photos and a short summary of how she is doing.  I hope she and her family knows that the care they give children really makes a difference.  I was also wondering in my mind if this was being appreciated or not since I hadn't heard from her in a while. 

I was a bit shocked to hear from Tigger's foster mom the other day e-mail me that she had been in a bad car accident earlier in the school year.  She just wanted to let me know that she gets my updates and it makes her day, but that she has been lousy and trying to heal that she hasn't been up to communicating as much via technology.  I'm glad I haven't stopped including her in my updates just because she stopped communicating.  I'm also very relieved to know that she is alive and recuperating.  She is one of the good ones!  A true angel among us, making a difference. 

Thank you to all foster families that strive to make a difference with children.  I know I personally appreciate it.  Without Tigger's last foster mom who loved Tigger so much, it would have been a more difficult road in our bonding and attaching as mother and daughter.

Spicing things up

So as you can see, I'm trying to make my blog "cuter", although not quite sure if I'm succeeding or not!  I do have a few posts rolling around in my mind tonight, however, it has been a long week and I need to rest.  I received the new "Adoptive Families" magazine and of course there's always something to ponder or write about so I look forward to really get into adoption issues this next week! 

I hope everyone has a great Friday leading up to an awesome weekend!

In AZ news

Just read a synopsis of what has passed in AZ so far.  I hope the bill that gives "preference" to married couples for adoption still is able to look at the NEEDS of the child(ren), because it would be scary if children didn't get to be placed in the actual homes that would be the best fit just because of the marital status box. 

My heart stopped yesterday (for a brief moment)

Ring ring ring........

I answered my cell phone and this is what I hear

"This is Sherry from CPS"

at first my heart stops....what happened?  I know she hit her head and has a nasty black and blue, but really I didn't do anything....(I'm thinking this in my head)

"I have a baby I need to place"

then I panicked and said out loud....oh my word are you telling me Tigger has a sibling? 

"um what?"

I mean [insert name she had before adoption] is this a call because her mother had another baby?

"oh no...I was calling because I need to find a placement for a baby"

Oh you know, I'm still within that 6 month period after adoption and unless it's my daughter's sibling, my social worker said they don't place for 6 months after finalization.

"Oh I'm sorry, your name came up on the wrong list then...let me make a note" 

ok I'm sorry about that.  Goodbye

Wow.....I was panicking.  Granted I've put in my file that if Tigger ever has a sibling that needs a foster or adoptive home I am willing and able to do it, but I wasn't thinking now....in fact it's about 2 months too soon...ha ha ha of course children never come when we think they should come, but I am glad I have at least 2 more months before seriously thinking if I want to go through the emotional process again.  I wondered if my instant panic was a sign that I should be content with one, but then I just deduced that I'm not the best multitasking of ideas so if I wasn't expecting a call for a possible placement after thinking and putting in my request, of course the initial idea would send me into panic mode, just like I panic for other things that pop up that I don't think about.  So it's not a "sign" but it made for a great topic on my blog. 

Should I be concerned that when I told my mother this, she started laughing and saying wouldn't that have been something if I had called her and said I had another baby in the house?  Well thanks mom for actually laughing about the possibility that this could have happened!

An obsession with Bubbles

So the weather has now been cooperating and it's been nice enough to play outside for a bit after dinner.  Tigger has recently discovered Bubbles, and that is what she wants to do every evening after dinner. 

Today she woke up and her first words to me were "mami, bubbles?" of course I have to say "no baby, school".  That awesome response from me brought on much tears, crying, and the throwing of oneself even more dramatically than most mornings. 

I have to say I'm highly impressed with her memory.  Even though she knows we're going to 'school', when we come down the stairs, she makes a beeline for the place where she saw me put the bubbles away and tries to ask for them again.  In the car all the way to the daycare, Tigger went nonstop asking about bubbles.  Needless to say, when we finally did them this afternoon it was fun.  Mostly she likes to stand there and squeal/laugh while the bubbles are swirling around her.  Sometimes she'll actively try to pop them. 

For now, it's the latest obsession....of course, that is until something else comes along! And it always does!

Today I did the unthinkable...ok maybe I'm exaggerating

Today I did something I swore I would never do...I gave my kid some food from a fast food joint!  Oh my word call the bad mommy police. 

Ok well yeah....so I kept it as healthy as I could...you know I can't fathom giving my 19 month old french fries so I went through a place called "Pollo Loco" and bought a side of.....wait for it........corn tortillas.  Yeah, so not the worst thing out there, heck Tigger eats corn tortillas with her dinner or to eat quesadillas with soy cheese.  He he he and you thought I was really going to be bad!  Gotcha!

However, today was interesting.  I packed my lunch which I have been doing lately for financial and health reasons and I have had to start packing snacks for Tigger because she is now absolutely famished when I pick her up.  I think that girl is about to grow again.  However, no snack also equals 30 minutes of ear piercing screeching that can seriously cause hearing loss, so I started carrying healthy snacks with me.  Well today I accidentally left my lunch bag at work....sigh, the lunch bag also carries Tigger's snacks for the ride home.  So I had the marvelous idea of getting corn tortillas at Pollo Loco and while it's a drive through, the content is NOT the dreaded french fries so I figure 'score 1 for mom'. 

Of course we couldn't end with mom ahead in the game because as my little Tigger is chowing down her tortilla as if she has never eaten before in her life, it became painfully obvious that one more thing was missing and tucked away in my lunch bag and I hadn't thought about that aspect......the sippy cup with water.  'Score a negative point for mom'

So I guess ending that fiasco even was better than being an "epic fail" for not having a plan B for snack at all.  So parents of would-be toddlers in a few months...prepare!  Always have available snacks AND drink for the car ride in the afternoons.  It will save your ears.

Sharing "our song"

Tigger and I have many songs....let me get that straight, we love songs!.....However, I've either played this song for her or sang it to her since she came home.  I was going to try and find something cute on YouTube with the song to put it on here for you guys to see with the lyrics, but I forgot that way back when Disney's animated movie "Dumbo" came out, the movie played this song during that heart wrenching scene when the mom is trapped and chained up inside a cage and Dumbo can't get to her.....good grief, I forgot and balled my eyes out.  So instead I copied the "Bette Midler" lyrics from when she sang it for the movie 'Beaches' which is the version Tigger and I listen to or sing to every night....which by the way is still a movie that makes me cry as well.  Stupid dang song making me cry! 

"Baby Mine"

Baby mine, don't you cry.

Baby mine, dry your eyes.

Rest your head close to my heart,

never to part, baby of mine.

Little one, when you play,

pay no heed what they say.

Let your eyes sparkle and shine,

never a tear, baby of mine.

If they knew all about you,

they'd end up loving you, too.

All those same people who scold you,

what they'd give just for the right to hold you.

From your hair down to your toes,

you're not much, goodness knows.

But, you're so precious to me,

sweet as can be, baby of mine.

The rendition from the original soundtrack of "Beaches"

Writer's Block

Yeah a phrase used in my high school when we couldn't for the life of us figure out what to write in our English Literature class. 

I also had a piece of it this week.  For the life of me I felt very un-inspired to write anything.  No topic felt like it was important to make it on here and even the bits of life felt a little too contrived this past week. 

It's not like we didn't do anything worthwhile of mention this week....Tigger cut her last tooth she was teething (yes!)  She now is feeling a lot better.  (yes!) Noticed that new pants needed to be bought as she has grown quite a bit and so that was done this past weekend (yes!) 

All in all though, I felt little inspiration to write.  I'm sure that feeling comes and goes in waves for most people and so it also with me last week.  Here's hoping inspiration happens again.  It's a new day and it's a new week.  Time to get inspired!