Thursday, March 10, 2011

My heart stopped yesterday (for a brief moment)

Ring ring ring........

I answered my cell phone and this is what I hear

"This is Sherry from CPS"

at first my heart stops....what happened?  I know she hit her head and has a nasty black and blue, but really I didn't do anything....(I'm thinking this in my head)

"I have a baby I need to place"

then I panicked and said out loud....oh my word are you telling me Tigger has a sibling? 

"um what?"

I mean [insert name she had before adoption] is this a call because her mother had another baby?

"oh no...I was calling because I need to find a placement for a baby"

Oh you know, I'm still within that 6 month period after adoption and unless it's my daughter's sibling, my social worker said they don't place for 6 months after finalization.

"Oh I'm sorry, your name came up on the wrong list then...let me make a note" 

ok I'm sorry about that.  Goodbye

Wow.....I was panicking.  Granted I've put in my file that if Tigger ever has a sibling that needs a foster or adoptive home I am willing and able to do it, but I wasn't thinking now....in fact it's about 2 months too soon...ha ha ha of course children never come when we think they should come, but I am glad I have at least 2 more months before seriously thinking if I want to go through the emotional process again.  I wondered if my instant panic was a sign that I should be content with one, but then I just deduced that I'm not the best multitasking of ideas so if I wasn't expecting a call for a possible placement after thinking and putting in my request, of course the initial idea would send me into panic mode, just like I panic for other things that pop up that I don't think about.  So it's not a "sign" but it made for a great topic on my blog. 

Should I be concerned that when I told my mother this, she started laughing and saying wouldn't that have been something if I had called her and said I had another baby in the house?  Well thanks mom for actually laughing about the possibility that this could have happened!

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