An inbetween tidbit

Oh people, I will come back with a couple or so pictures but I'm in between part I and part II of my class reunion and all I have to say is.....GO TO YOURS.  Really guys, people grow up, people change, reunions are nothing scary....if nothing it's a flashback and fun time.  I know too many people that don't want to go to theirs.....don't worry about it, really....I was hesitant about my 10th, however, after that, I like them. 

It's totally nothing like this:

Alrighty, I need to rest while the Tigger is napping so I can take her to my folks house before part II of our reunion....with more people showing up.  toodles!

Sometimes the past needs to just stay there!

For tonight's viewing pleasure I'd thought I'd bore you with the fact that on Saturday I am attending my 15 year high school reunion.  Yes that's right 15 years.  Time flies when you're having fun.  Well I wish I was just attending it, however, while being a class officer is awesome on a college application and essay, it kinda comes back to bite you in the butt when reunion times come.  So have been trying to make sure the people around here know what's going on and seeing if they can make it. 

Of course I have it easy, my graduating senior class had a grand total of 60 seniors.  Yep, you read that right 60 seniors in a busy city in socal.  I went to a private church based school so there ya go.  However, when you're my age...um have you looked in your year books lately?  No?  well you should, those pictures are hideous.  I will now share with you my past.  The reason this post came so late in the evening was because I was making sure to erase innocent names and school names if they were on here.  Let's peruse down memory lane shall we?

Let's start with the god awful senior picture shall we?

What am I wearing?  I look like I need to retire into an old folks rest home with a collar like that on a dress (I'm the one with the star lol)  this has got to be one of the most hideous pictures evah!

I did win a senior award though.....that's right, class clown along with 'hangy' there...i think they shot that picture as my friend was trying to do something and is slipping to the point of falling down, I'm laughing hysterically and therefore that is the picture they chose!

 Moving on to sports, this first volleyball team picture isn't too bad, lovely smiling faces, however, the yearbook staff was fiddling with action shots and I decided to enhance the 'action' shot of me serving the volleyball by what I think they actually caught! If you're confused, look at my eyes...I look like the devil incarnate. 

Then there is the softball picture.  The fact of who was in my team astounds me and makes me glad that I am a friendly sort of person

Oh and then there are famous "senior things" pictures which show off our class and then show off the class officers plus little tidbits such as who has been here for 4 years (freshman-senior), who has been attending since 1st grade (12 years) and then the brave few souls that attended for 13 years (remember back in my day most kids went to first grade....skipped kinder)

(nope no kinder year for me) Oh but wait there's more!  Every Senior had a few lines they could fill out about themselves.  5 questions that are random and then there's some symbol next to the answer that is the 'thing' for the current year.  So here is a picture of that,

I seriously look like I'm about to beat up someone in my Dodger's attire, with that face, and my wannabe dog tags I have going on there.  Well first symbol is what I will be remembered for; second is 10 years from now; 3rd is what mystifies you; 4th is what is a perfect day and 5th is parting words....LOL  I was incredibly profound. 

Thank goodness we only get smarter and better looking with age....oh and did i mention that we grow a brain too?  This weekend should be fun!

Why I sometimes don't "fit in"

I've noticed lately that in the world of adoption there are certain cliques.  As I try to find my niche in certain cliques, I find that sometimes we just don't fit the 'mold'. 

I am:

Part of an adoptive family
A single parent
A single parent by choice
A single parent by choice AND a Christian
Adopted from foster care through the county and not an agency
Not currently subscribed for online dating (a.k.a. I'm not sad that I'm not married)


I did not:

Battle with infertility
Adopt internationally
Adopt through a domestic infant program
have to deal with disapproving family members
meet any relatives at all even though it would have been nice to

Because of the above list, sometimes it's hard to have commonalities with a set group of people because my little family doesn't neatly fall into a niche that's common. 

I am however grateful that we don't fall into a niche because it makes it easier to get to know others, get to know what their stories are, and see different viewpoints whether or not I agree with them or not.  If one hasn't dipped their toe too far into the adoption lake, one wouldn't know how deep and complex the issues are and range from.  From types of adoption, to what was the norm in the past, how it's changing, how it changed for the worse or better, acknowledging all members of the adoption triad, adoptee rights, grief and loss in adoption....a myriad of topics and issues that are present.  If you dip your toe into the lake of choice moms or single parents by choice, there are a plethora of different stories and scenarios and different ways these people came to be or are striving to be parents. 

Sometimes being different and delving into the unknown and learning from others is a much better deal!  So go, step out of your mold, your clique and get to know some people that are in a different situation than you.  You'll be glad you did. 

Tuesday Truisms: Toddlers are Bipolar

Because Toddlers don't have the same day twice in a row!

"I love bedtime, not because my kid goes to bed, but because it's always a relaxing time of music, hugs, and happiness"

"Sometimes after bedtime is not so great with waking up in the middle of the night screams"

"Never be in a frustrated place when attempting to brush your daughter's hair" (not real life experience with Tigger, but I know this from my growing up years!)

"Some days they will love dinner, some days they will look at it, look at you, and cry like you served them a dead rat"

"when a toddler girl starts twirling in her dress as though she is the queen herself, that is when I quake in my boots thinking of the shopping bills later on in life"

"tears, happiness, giggles, screams...these things happen all in a matter of minutes with no warning"

"had a bad parenting day?  don't worry tomorrow will be better....had a good parenting day?  bask in it for tomorrow may be the opposite"

"Why do I abstain from alcohol again?" 

Before I signed off tonight....

I just had to share this with you guys out in cyber land.  We had a perfect day today...did we go to the beach and sip non-alcoholic margaritas?  um no, we had work, rushing to the Dr.'s office and the regular routine, however today was the first day there was NO tantrum.at.all.none! 

I just don't know what to do with myself.  I'm reliving the day.  I usually hear a symphony of whining and tantrum on the car ride home from work/daycare.  Part of it is hunger and sometimes the snack that I bring doesn't seem to be what she wanted, part of it is that sometimes she's not in the mood for the water bottle or sippy cup or juice box I have for her, sometimes she's just tired and needs to vent on the way home. 

Next, I usually have a hard time right before dinner and if I'm not fast or careful, I can get meltdowns there.  And Lordy, I usually have a major meltdown sometime during bath time....if it's not in the bath, it's right after it and sometimes I'm just tired of the daily crying/tantrum. 

If something doesn't go the way she thinks it should go, there is major meltdown (e.g. last weekend it was too cold for one outfit I tried on for church, so decided to change it....oh my.  It was a rough morning for a while because the world ended when I changed her dress)

For no good reason, today was different.  She was entertained on the way home in the car with her "books", we went to a Dr. appt. for her (which I thought was going to mess with her schedule) and she took it in stride, we went home and I did a quickie meal....sandwich and fruit and she loved it, she did cry a bit when I needed to put an object to "rest" after being told not to do something and a warning....however it didn't last more than a minute so that doesn't count.  There was no after the bath meltdown..

This has been a monumental day.  I enjoyed it, still am enjoying the feeling from it.  Wow....a drama free day!  I just am quite ecstatic that it happened.  And to top off the day...when I had the computer (itunes) on with her pre-bed songs on....during one song when I sing "I love you" she jargoned most of "I love you" with the same inflection back to me. 

All this to say....I am in 7th heaven.  I don't know if this day can be repeated or what was up, however, I will have this day as a lovely memory.  No matter what, I love my kid to death, just wanted to document this day!  Good night!

Facebook

I decided after much thinking to put up a separate page on Facebook for my blog.  I usually link my blog on facebook for family and friends to see what we are up to, however, as I've been reading around and overhearing conversations, I want to have a separate page to deal with putting out resources for people in the process of or parenting as a single person. 

While single parents are not with the same stigma as years past (which led to a high number of adoptions out of shame for pregnancies out of wedlock) it can be difficult for a person to find good resources and support systems if going at it alone, especially if they belong to the Christian faith.  So if you're a reader here on blogger and would like to connect to this blog's facebook page, just follow the link here and I will also be posting resources and other information pertinent to single parenting. 

Now since I'm trying to put positive information for other people to latch onto, feel free to direct anyone you know parenting as a single person or thinking about it to come and contact me.  I'd be more than willing to lend an ear and talk about how the process went for me.  Also if interested in adoption, specifically from foster care, I am more than happy to send you all sorts of reading material in order to give more perspective on different issues are around or that may come up. 

I have been blessed to find people in cyberland that have given me great advice on all sides of the adoption triad and I am more than happy to pay it forward.  So while I'm not going to be doing fancy boxes (I don't think) showing how many people like me on facebook (because my goal is not become rich and famous, but to reach out to others that may need support from someone who has been there and done that) I encourage you to direct anyone you feel may benefit from information I may put on here (which occasionally I do) that deals with single parenting or adoption from foster care in general. 

Easter Weekend Part II

Easter morning, Tigger and I along with the grandparents went to one of our churches to participate in the brunch/worship/kids egg hunt that the ‘Mom’s Network’ had organized.


It was a fun event and Tigger enjoyed it. However the weather was stinky and rainy so the egg hunt ended up being inside in the hallways and Sabbath School classrooms. Luckily for me, Tigger seemed to have a blast even with the change of events to the inside.



Child friendly worship



Finding an egg



Oh another one1


It was still cold and wet outside my parent’s house when Tigger got up from her nap so unfortunately (for me more than Tigger I think) our private egg/gift hunt was done inside my parent’s house. I think Tigger scored royally in gifts.

Fancy egg

oh goody, a fat crayon...all the better to write on the walls with!

I love sing-a-long dvd's

totally scored at grandma and grandpa's

Then we went over to my aunt’s for a late afternoon/evening of fun. The cousins decided to play outside so all the little ones were in their jackets. Since my aunt lives in another city, we were pleasantly surprised to find the sun out when we arrived at her place.

I hope that your Easter weekend was pleasant If you have children, enjoy the little things…even the things that may go awry, it makes for great memories!

Easter Weekend part I

As I had mentioned earlier, our church’s Easter celebration was held on Saturday since that is the day that we attend church. Tigger and I as well as the grandparents had a wonderful time at the absolutely awesome pageant that my church did. Here are a few scenes from our program….please excuse the picture quality, this is one time I wish I had an actual GOOD camera and not just a point and shoot.

Next we spent some time taking pictures all day long, as this is the day that we show off our Easter clothes, so tried to get the Tigger looking at the camera but it was hit and miss.

Tigger and Me



Tigger and her Cousin S



After Church

Picking petals instead of smiling for the camera

Then after Tigger’s nap, I gave her half a dozen eggs to color in good ol' general Easter fun. She had a blast. As you can see only 5 eggs made it to the bitter end! The packet I had bought also had stickers one could use to decorate, however, Tigger was more into putting stickers on her hand than on the actual eggs. You’ll have to excuse Tigger’s hair, this was right after nap time!



A fun time was had by the little one


Then we just had some fun blowing bubbles. If you can’t really tell, the weather this weekend wasn’t the best. It was cool but kinda sunny in the morning, but cold in the afternoon.

For the Religious: I hope these 4 days are meaningful for your families

Growing up in a church that worships on Saturday, when Easter weekend would roll around, sometimes there would be a Good Friday vespers (church service) depending on the church one attended, and then we would have an Easter service the day before Easter (Saturday) because again our denomination congregates on Saturday.  It wasn't until I was around 7 or 8 years old that my parents found out about a community sunrise Easter service on top of a foothill, not related to any denomination and we would hike up the 'mountain' side at 4am with the trails lighted up by the city's boy scout troops to make it up there for the 6:30am sunrise service.  I remember those years fondly trying not to fall down the hillside at 4;30am since all we had were flashlights from those poor boy scouts!  Unfortunately after high school when I came back from college, they didn't seem to be doing that.

That was the only thing I looked forward to, because while my parents always bestowed gifts on Easter, they made sure they were the religious kinds of gifts which was great and I loved all my Cd's and books from the Christian Bookstore.  The one thing my parents didn't do was Easter bunnies or egg hunts, or dying eggs...growing up that was a bit too secular. 

I find it extremely hilarious that now in the midst of enjoying a grandchild, Tigger will be participating in an egg hunt and this is the second year there are pictures with the big scary bunny.  Are most of the gifts Tigger is receiving Christian based?  Of course, and obviously for my family and the two of us, Easter is very important to us...and I hope that growing up, Tigger can remember why 'we' celebrate as well as enjoy some mainstream traditions in good fun. 

We were unable to join my parent's for their church's first ever 4 day church event tonight because Tigger is still to young to be out and about after her bedtime, however, I hope that my parents are getting something out of the Maundy Thursday service where my parent's church will be doing communion.  Usually most churches in our denomination don't congregate on Thursday's so this is a new thing this year for my parent's church. 

They will also be contemplating / meditating  during tomorrow night's Good Friday service.  I have actually missed going to the Friday night service because it is always a good one.  One leaves the church in a somber mood because the service is well....more somber for obvious reasons.  I think my favorite part is when the service is over, the congregation is asked to leave quietly while the bells are ringing.  It sounds dreadfully somber...this may sound strange to people not used to this kind of a service, but I find it personally moving. 

Google images picked this up

Tigger and I will get to see them at my church on Saturday for my church's live pageant, so not a traditional worship service. This is my first Easter at my new church as a member so am looking forward to the pageant Saturday morning. 

Sunday we will then do a community egg hunt as well as my parent's private egg hunt for Tigger.

What are your plans?  Happy Easter!