Thursday, April 14, 2011

Unknowns that adoption brings at times

If you can't tell, when I'm not gushing and going on and on and on and on and on about my Tigger, I like to to talk about adoption.  It's no secret I think it's great!  It brought Tigger to me and made me a mom in light of no husband. 

However, there are some things that i think about....unknowns if you will that adoption will bring.  Sometimes it doesn't because a family is in an open adoption type relationship, but if the information one has is limited or almost non-existent like 70% of Tigger's information these are some things that I obsess over think about time and time again. 

1.  Medical information

Yes I have least 50% of right now, but it's always nice to have more.  If you remember, almost two weeks ago I had minor surgery due to a couple of Dr.'s recommendation as prevention because of my family's history with cancer.  As I was driving down to the medical office/hospital with my mother, my mind wandered to Tigger's medical history.....does skin cancer run in her family? breast cancer? will it ever as sometimes relatives deal with medical issues later on in life?  Truth is I worry....not obsessively to the point I can't sleep, but I've already made up my mind that I need to remind Tigger that she may need to live life with a healthier state of mind about how she takes care of herself as a rule of thumb, however, I'm afraid that I'm sure she'll get that hammered into her head anytime she goes into a Dr. office or anytime one has to fill out those medical history surveys. 

2.  Height

I know the mother's height...don't know the father's.  It will be interesting to see how she grows...I measured her again tonight (I'm doing that cute wall marking height thing that parents do in their it a homey touch I think).  Girl has grown about 3/4 of an inch in the last month and a half or so....I thought the time from 12 months to 24 months was a stagnant year growth wise....child is almost 33 inches in 3 inches away from 3 feet tall already....I'm wondering if she will sprout up again before her 2nd birthday.  Poor child had pants that fit her length wise today, but were falling down as she has a lanky frame....kinda gangsta looking!  Who knew we were so hip ha!

3.  Temperament

Determined that she WILL put on her shoes without any help....led to frustration when it didn't happen the way she thought it would

What side of the family did she get it from?  While it's uncanny really that her personality is a mirror image of my mother's, which is why I think Tigger and I mesh well in the home. I still want to know where she got it from, even though the fit into our family is nothing short of a miracle. 

4.  Will I ever know what they look like?

At this moment I don't know.  I was hoping that the county had pictures somewhere of the mother at least.  There was none.  There was no visitation prior to the hearing for the termination of parental rights, there was no contact, I admit to trying to be a kick-butt detective see if there was an Internet footprint....Nada!  I wish I had at least that for Tigger.  It would be nice to see where she got all her beauty from....because let's face it, she is NOT ugly! (was that way too much of a mommy moment!)

Gorgeous even after drenched in water after grandpa decided it was a water play day

Adoption is what it is.  Very complicated with a variety of emotions felt by both the parents and the children.  There is love, there is loss, there is wondering, there is pain, there is hope.  Another example of what is at the moment and moving forward from there.  That is the best we can do! 

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